Arundhati's blog

Of jalebis, jangiris, and conferences

2012-02-07T09:17:00.000-08:00

This past weekend there was this Arts Education conference on Diversity and Social Justice. Normally, S would have been there to "care of" P (that's how P says it, and I find it so cute I haven't corrected him!). As it turned out I had to take P along.

I told P there was this conference where a lot would be discussed, and he could be an important delegate. Threw in something about "today's children are tomorrow's decision-makers". P asked me hopefully and very earnestly if by attending the conference on Saturday, he would be qualified to take ministerial decisions on Sunday. I had to dash his hopes, but yippee he was interested!!

P had his breakfast and milk. En route he munched on a carrot and had another glass of milk. It may seem like I digress, but this is very very important. P on a very full stomach is considerably more co-operative than P on saadha-full stomach. Just like saadha dosa will do, but masala dosa is so much better.

In the auditorium, I took the corner seat in row-4 - convenient for me to make a sprint for the door should P voice his protest. It so happened that Astad Deboo made his entry just after us and took the corner seat on row-3. P was on my lap. That meant P was literally breathing down The Astad Deboo's neck.

An hour passed. So far, so good. Lots of great ideas, very inspiring people. Most of all, P seemed to have reconciled to his fate, and was actually enjoying the proceedings. All of a sudden, P said "I want to eat Jangiri". He was kind enough to whisper, albeit loud enough for the person-whose-neck-he-was-breathing-down-upon to have heard. Also, said person may not have known what Jangiri is, or that it is NOT the same as Jalebi (which by the way P prefers over Jangiri), but P chose to explicitly say that he wants TO EAT jangiri, not just "I want Jangiri". Hmph. Our open-precise chose to include two redundant words?!

Anyway, after I offered P an imaginary Jangiri, which he enthusiastically chomped on and greatly relished, we were back to status quo. Another hour passed. It was time for a break. While everyone had coffee, except for P, me & Astad... P settled down on our favourite bench outside - the one that offers a great view of the trees - and got to work on his kaju-kishmish-anjoor-khajur. Unfortunately (for Astad), it was also the only bench that was clean. Or clean enough.. I must add here that Astad was wearing a spotless white kurta-pajama, which is why P christened him 'white shirt uncle'.

During the break, P asked me in his school-marmish tone "What have you learnt so far?". I think this was a clever way to preempt my asking him the same question, and it worked. I told him A Lot, but I would have to think about it. I did too. A lot of lessons learnt in recent years were reinforced - that it takes a lot of determination and hard work to succeed at anything. Even more so when it is the road less travelled. That one must have the conviction to never give up. That joy comes only from learning every day. That so much is possible. Got to meet the amazing folks from Blind with Camera (absolutely awe-inspiring), Salaam Baalak Trust (of Mira Nair fame), and so many others.

The dried fruit (and the accompanying sugar) worked and P walked in without a whimper, though he had declared he wouldn't go back in at the start of the break. The sugar must also have acted to loosen him up a bit. Another hour passed and he decided the chairs in the auditorium needed cleaning.
Now, those who know P well, know that he is a jugaad sort of guy. If his friend has a motorized car, and parent(s?) has decided he has outgrown his push-along ride-on, he will just be content to ride the next best thing on wheels - a suitcase
Or, when P is exhausted but fighting sleep in a vain bid to extend a greatly enjoyable day, he tries to keep awake by "freshening up".. using the self-generated renewable... saliva.

And that is what he used to clean the backs of a row of chairs. As a parent to a four-year old, one becomes unapologetic and very very thick-skinned. I sat there smug, proud of my resourceful cleaner who was able to engage himself and sit through a conference for four hours.

Back at home, P is measuring objects in terms of steps or listening to the flapping of wings as pigeons take off from our window, to click pictures with eyes closed.

Coming up is the Literary Weekend at the same venue. That would have been great under normal circumstances, I love everything about the place. But, a change of venue might have made convincing the pea easier. As it stands, he vows he will not attend any more conferences. Reason - they are "long, very very long". He did make a concession and agree to attend conferences provide they are short - that is, if they are precisely one minute long. Duration not negotiable.

Two-minute Noodles. One-minute Jangiri err conference

Until next week then

Dhaatu's Ramayana Carnival

2012-01-10T05:54:00.000-08:00

Dhaatu is one of the best things to have happened to Bangalore in recent years, up there with Rangashankara on my list. Hats off to Anupama Hoskere and co.

Dhaatu's Ramayana Carnival, an event that shows children how a story is retold in many wonderful ways.

We spent around three hours taking in the doll display, dance and puppet show. Older kids may need longer to participate in quiz and activities.

Glimpses of the Ramayana Carnival

My favourite -

A Kavad, a story box that unfolds.

Dance - Sita's swayamvara. Shiva's mighty bow that no one but Rama is able to lift.

Puppet show - Hanuman meets Ram.

P's first encounter with demons in 3D. Meet Mareech and Subahu.

Off to the forest.

Sita Apharan

Vali Sugreeva episode.

Is it a bird, is it a plane? Is it Superman? No, it is Hanuman!

Puppets and masks from everywhere

A Ramayana "Board" Game

NOT Raavan, as pointed out by P. A nine-headed rakshas, does anyone know his name?

And here is Raavan. Ten heads in place. Whatever happened to symmetry? Bad design?

Hanuman in action. Jaambhavan in the background.

Puppet Parade

Jai Hanuman!

[Wordless Wednesday]: How long will it take to reach the top?

2012-01-10T05:50:00.000-08:00

films and life

2012-01-03T09:18:00.000-08:00

I had seen the screening schedule of the Bangalore International Film Festival, but my head swam. I decided it would take time to do the research and figure out which one to go to. So, I left the IE window open, to come back to later.

It so happened a friend of mine blogged about a movie she had watched at the Chennai Intl Film Fest. It was to be screened in B'lore too, seemed very interesting, and it was Iranian cinema. Now, after a few that I have seen, I am a *BIG* fan. Still... it was a matinee show on a weekday. Decided to hope, and wait for divine intervention.

Well what do you know, I had a meeting at the office that day. Rescheduled it a bit so it would end in time for me to dash to the movie hall, which happens to be a couple of minutes drive from the office!!!

Meeting ends late. I rush, ticketing booth is at the ground floor but my instinct tells me to take the lift and go up. I reach the place and am told to buy tickets at the ground floor. I go back and am told that Film festival tickets are being sold upstairs. I go up again, instinct was right after all. Pay a princely sum of Rs. 100. I grab icecream on the way in, I am *famished*. Just as I take my seat, the movie begins.

"A Separation".

There are many articles and reviews on the internet, they can't really do justice to the many layers, or describe the way the mind reacts to the questions that the drama throws at you. WATCH. IT.

I am transported. I learn so much. Just by watching the ordinary lives of ordinary people unfold on screen.

The performances are superlative. If you can call them that - none of the cast seem to be performing at all, they are living the lives of the characters. It feels as if I am observer, an intruder.

When the movie ends, I don't want to move. The hall is full and many others are in the same suspended state.

When I get out of the hall, I see a poster with a life-size Abhishek Bachchan, it says 'Players'. I try not to look at it, I want the effect of the movie to linger.

I get back and... this is what I see.

I had heard of Queen's English. But... "Ma'am's English"?! That is how P refers to cursive writing.

The holidays... so far

2011-12-29T10:18:00.001-08:00

Day 1 - Kick Scooter. P in the lift lobby almost all day.

Day 2 - More Kick Scooter. Friend joins on his cycle. Out all day. Bedtime @ 7.10 p.m.

Day 3 - Friend's sister joins. Scooter falls apart as friend falls when riding. Scooter decommissioned. Cycle to the rescue.
Lunch in takeaway style. Bedtime @ 5.40 p.m.

Day 4 - Two more friends join. P and one friend absconding at 3.30 p.m. Hunted down in the play-area. Friend has said he is scared of cars but our pint-sized hero has claimed he is "brave enough to go by himself".

3 members of the search party decide to join in the merriment. One adult versus 5 little imps. Helpless adult ends up in the play-area with laptop. Bedtime at 7 p.m.

Not that I'm complaining. Can't believe I'm able to get so much work done during the school break. And, holidays are meant for having fun :)

What's next?!

Carnatic Music Fest

2011-11-11T22:11:00.000-08:00

...at St. John's Audtorium, Koramangala (opposite the B.D.A complex), ends tomorrow.

Schedule here

p.s. - Haven't been frequenting the blogworld. I miss it :( Don't know if it's because I've been busy, and feel guilty doing something that isn't productive, or that I should be catching up on sleep instead! Or because I'm trying to figure some things out. Or because everything I might have written gets filtered as too personal, not relevant or important. And what I think doesn't matter. Maybe it is a bit of all. Maybe I am just plain lazy?!

Of this and that

2011-10-12T10:01:00.000-07:00

Svanubhava, a music and art fest for and by students - http://svanubhava.blogspot.com
The on-demand webcast will be available for a few days.
P enjoyed the Yakshagana performance the most, though he did watch everything else with a great deal of interest as well.

Yakshagana depicted the story of Ramayana - something P hadn't been comfortable with until this.
Resumed the process of introducing him to it, and the Mahabharata, first with the beautiful doll-display at Dhaatu's Navrathra Mahotsava. The chakravyuh was my favourite, while Kumbhakarna - with trumpets being blown in his ear, elephants walking over him, and drums being played next to him - was P's.
Their puppet show that both of us greatly enjoyed was 'Vijayanagara Vaibhava' - the show talked about how art was promoted and flourished in the region, from the Thraeta yuga, the reign of Krishna Deva raya, the Wodeyars, to the present-day Dasara Habba in Mysore. The Kolatta was beautifully done, as were the classical dance and fight sequences. The show was in Kannada, and though P speaks the colloquial version, this was beyond his comprehension and I had to provide commentary.
A puppet show at NGMA is next, this time it will be Silappadikaaram - Oct 16th, Sun, 6.30 p.m.
The Dhaatu doll display is still on, do check it out if you get a chance. Call ahead for directions - the last stretch is a bit of a maze, and asking around may not work.

School has resumed. We did manage quite a bit, P had a month off, and thank goodness it wasn't a day longer, I was running on reserve energy!

Highlights were :
- Visweswarayya industrial and technological museum -> Will be revisited! Did justice to the ground floor - gears, brakes, levers, pulleys, turbines... P was fascinated by them all.
Had originally intended to take him to a factory, this was the next best thing.
The moving dino exhibit provided the most entertainment, and P insited on one last darshan before we left. We had a *friendly* Spinosaurus with us for a couple of days :)
The other floors we had to rush through - there was stuff on Space, Biomedical, Electronics - but we did enjoy the children's area and the mirror maze(there is no warning sign, but I think this needs an adult accompanying the child)
There is a shop on the ground floor, and a book stall on the first - didn't find anything this time, but maybe on subsequent visits.

- A much-postponed visit to Blossoms on Church st. The place holds memories for us.
Seems ridiculously overpriced to me now, maybe the IPDA has spoilt me?
That didn't deter us from carrying back loads of books - the most treasured is one that P is poring over in his eagerness to become an engineer (This past month, we have gone from saying "office work is so boring, everyday going in the morning, eating, coming back at night, only weekends..", to reading "THE Engineering Book". In between we had the forgettable 'MonkeyChaser' phase. Yes, P was quite serious about that, and it does seem quite romantic - one gets to carry a rifle around, act like a fillum hero and command the respect of suitably-impressed 4 year-olds.

- we are going through a Kaveri obsession right now, so a day trip it was. We spotted a croc on a rock! And we went to see a dam too - but P isn't letting us off easy, he says this is the first of four, he wants to see three more dams

- yet another trip to Monkey Maze. Went to Indiranagar to get a friend's b'day gift. No trip to I'Nagar is complete without a visit to MM. So MM it was. P had a stomach bug and we did multiple trips to the loo each time there was a wave of nausea, but enter MM and everything was miraculously alright... for a bit! The thing did come back with a vengeance shortly after we stepped out of the place.

- The many Golus we went to, and P's own. He was given three boxes and a free hand.

- Survived 10 days with the domestic help having to go on emergency leave, and with S, P and then me coming down with fever-throat infection in quick succession.

- This time too, Navratri puja has left its mark - we have P chanting his own version round-the-clock, starting with "Skande na Nande na... " then modified versions of many classmates' names thrown in, and always ending with Om shanti shanti shantaye!

P's 4th Birthday

2011-08-09T22:04:00.000-07:00

The venue was decided six months in advance, that left us with plenty of time to plan and organise the party. Invite list was ready, return gifts bought, menu decided, high-level and all levels of planning done - all this completed months before the party!

Theme: Nature

Venue: Martin Farm
Since it was an outdoor venue, and the rains were likely to play spoilsport in the evening, we decided to make it a morning affair.

Invites: Made by P, a good way to spend holiday time!

On the invites were flowers, trees, fish or insects. The cards were made from bits of leftover paper and decorated with waste material like chocolate wrapper, pistachio shells, pieces of used straw, scraps of waste crepe paper and so on - in keeping with the theme.

Decor: Charts with photographs and drawings coloured in by P and a couple of his friends who wanted to help out :)

We also had some Wallies animals/mushrooms on the walls, to go with the theme.

Return gifts: Age-appropriate books about plants/animals (NBTs and CBTs bought at the IPDA fair)

The food: Tried to stick to the theme colours as much as possible (did you notice the charts were brown, green or blue?)

Apple Jelly (green), Chocolate pudding (brown), Idli-Sambar, Bisibele bhaath, Salads.

There was also Toast, Cereal, Chips, Juice, Icecream, and of course Cake!
I must have spent around nine hours in the kitchen. The car was full to the brim. With the multiple shopping trips, transportation to the car and everything else, we were exhausted before the party began!

The cake: One of the little invitees wanted to know what cake it was. Butterscotch was my reply.
She repeated her question. Then, someone explained to me, she probably wanted to know which cartoon character was on the cake! There was none, actually. It was a simple, creamy, yummy butterscotch cake with "Happy 4th Birthday, P" written on it (in chocolate - brown).

That is how we like our cake, and that is how it has been every year (so far!)

Activities: Who needs games when we have all of this?!

The Farm Animals...

Playtime

The people who made it all special

Gifts: The guests were requested not to bring any gifts, they could drop cheques with donations to an NGO instead.
I had spoken to P upfront, about what a birthday party meant to him. Cake, chips and chocolate was his response. I had to remind him there were things other than food in life! Asked about gifts, he said one gift would do. That went with what I wanted ;)

After the guests had left...

The kids had a blast. P was over the moon. What more could we have asked for?

The cherry on the cake... two days after the party, when both S & I were dealing with the aftermath and recuperating, P said to me (and I quote) "I love you. Because you're a sweetie-pie. Because you do lots of help for me, whatever help I ask. (And then to himself) Sometimes you don't help, but that's because you do lots of work, it's okay."

The stuff that Legends are made of

2011-07-28T10:54:00.000-07:00

Watched 'Harishchandrani Factory' - a movie in Marathi depicting Dadasaheb Phalke and his family's struggle in making India's first feature film. Enjoyed the movie.

Dadasaheb's attitude, perseverance, passion and self-belief are awe-inspiring. Ditto for his wife Saraswati.

Tagore. Swami Vivekananda. Bharathiyar. Genius and Vision. Among those living, I think the only Indian who comes close is Abdul Kalam. Have heard him speak live, he addressed a gathering in our college (mine and Kalam's - he is from the same institute, quality obviously degrades with time!). Everyone present that day had goosebumps, I'm sure.

Market Day in Namma Bengaluru!

2011-07-21T02:53:00.000-07:00

Friends of mine are organising "The first flea market by Second to None, to buy and sell used goods!"

What's up for grabs...

The mantra...
Don't discard, Resell. Don't waste, Share.
Before you buy new, discover the charm of the old.

At Jaaga. July 30th and 31st 2011. 11 AM to 6 PM on both days.

Check out the event on facebook and the 2nd20 blog

Folks in Bangalore - do try & attend. Spread the word!

P for...

2011-07-20T09:53:00.000-07:00

paints, P for Picasso, P for P!

When P was 2, he went through a phase when he would begin his artwork the moment he was out of bed. He used to refer to himself as Picasso during the periods he occupied himself this way. One such time there was a declaration that would've made Picasso turn in his grave... Picasso had to go to the potty!

Fun with paints - entry for MM's artsy-craftsy :)

1. Twine painting, Fold-art (learnt symmetry), spray painting using a toothbrush, straw painting (blow through a straw).

2. Okra painting (don't miss the crow, P's finishing touch!)

3. P and his dad dyed a thread yellow using turmeric. A few days later, P requested me for beetroot to make red yarn. Here is the end product. Once he was done, I thought it was the perfect time to introduce Tulika's The Mystery of Blue.

Amma's lessons learnt

2011-07-06T09:57:00.000-07:00

Sandhya tagged me, finally got around to posting this today.

Parenting is a tremendous responsibility, of which growth and maturity are by-products. It is not a 2-week, 2-month or a 2 year job, as I'd started out thinking. It is endless, there will always be something. There is the associated learning too, always always (as in Stepmom. Did KJo flick that too in his remake?).

So which parts should I write about?
Unconditional love? Learning to be less judgmental? Positive energy? That a father's role is irreplaceable?
Mother's bias? How it can be good - our children can be as good as we think they are. Strengths and weaknesses, equally important to identify both.

Pre-P I used to think it was unfortunate that some people had no kids. Now I don't think so. They have their lives, they have freedom. Can't judge if one is better than the other, but I believe there is nothing unfortunate about it.

Anyway, things have been getting a bit complicated of late, so I will skip jabbering about the heavy-duty stuff, and focus on the lighter bits instead

Lesson no. 1. That I can function with little or even no shut-eye. To think that I spent my student-life thinking I couldn't do without my beauty sleep!

2. Having walked around for years with a mirror focussed on me, following me around everywhere, I have learnt :
-To overcome many of my fears, and resolve some of my hangups.
-To be comfortable with who I am, and confident about myself. Different can be cool too!
-Patience, had absolutely none earlier. Still a long way to go!

3. As Rajni said with all humility (Disclaimer: I'm a fan of the person, though I haven't watched his movies), "I am doing nothing, I am just an instrument, it is Him doing everything through me." Or something to that effect.
Just like a musician/artist must perform with this humility, so too must a parent. A child is a little person, not an extension of the parent. Mutual respect is the goal. Let me stop here, since Kahlil Gibran has put it so eloquently and I am just spewing nonsense.

4. Bringing up a child is a typical project scenario. Involves estimation and planning, a *lot* of change management, risk management and mitigation, stakeholder management, effective communication and a lot of pushing back firmly!
CMM levels. A project at level 1 depends on heroes, it is chaotic and adhoc. Not good. In higher CMM levels, there are processes defined, managed, and deliberate optimization/improvement. See the parallel? Parenting too must focus on empowerment not dependence, and there must be continuous improvement.

5. As A.R. Rahman put it (we are getting all filmi today!), don't plan too much, just be open to good things, then good things will happen to you.
Toddler philosophy: Live in the moment. Live everyday as if there is no tomorrow. Go with the flow, let go (WIP), laugh.
Corollary - Happy hearts are more important than clean homes.

6. Children's literature. The picture books are delightful. So what if it says 3+, 30s are also 3+

7. School is the saviour and teachers are grossly underpaid!

There is no medicine for verbal diarrhoea, whether it is mine or P's. Just look at the length of this post!

Mental Arithmetic...

2011-06-09T08:32:00.000-07:00

needs no infrastructure except a willing child, can be indulged in even when adult is busy, and atleast a few laughs are guaranteed. Sample these...

Me: What is 4+3 ?
P picks a random number.
Me: Do it with mangoes
(Note: only seasonal fruit works. In winter, it has to be apples)
So P works it out... If Amma has 4 mangoes and P has 3, and we both give all our mangoes to appa, how many will appa have?
P: 7

Me: What is 7+1?
P: 8
Me: 8+1?
P: 9
Me: And 9+1?
P: 10

Me: Okay, let's do subtraction now. What is 10-1?

P: God only knows

I must have looked as dazed as I felt, so P went on to explain. Only God knows everything, whatever we don't know we must learn from God.

So we were back to mangoes. If P has 10 mangoes and he gives me one, how many does he have left?
P: 9
Me: 9-1
P:8
Me:8-1
P: 7
-------------------
Me: What is 2+3?
P: Same as 3+2
Me: Yes. Right. Good. And how much is that?

P(impatiently) Ammmmi 3+2 *is* 2+3
Me: Ya, which is... how much, tell me a number?
P: 4
Me: How many mangoes do I have, how many do you have? What happens if we both give all our mangoes to Appa

P (fresh from the subtraction exercise) looks utterly devastated and screeches "AMMMMI... then both of us won't have ANY mangoes!!!"
----------------
When I had recovered sufficiently from that, we carried on.
Me: What is 2+2?
Long pause. Absolutely no reaction from P, not even a change in facial expression.
Had he not heard me at all? Is the hearing issue resurfacing?
I raise my eyebrows.
P (seriously, earnestly and softly) : I am thinking
Me (equally softly) : okay

The Dogmatix in me

2011-05-12T10:00:00.000-07:00

Here is a picture of me and my tree - this was a neem sapling planted when I was in class 7 or so.
The picture was taken a few years ago, the tree must have grown since.

As part of an afforestation drive, there were a hundred or more saplings planted in the school grounds, for each of these a few students were entrusted. During the summer holidays, a friend and I took turns to ensure atleast one of us was in town to water the plant everyday. The principal mentioned this in assembly on the day school reopened, he didn't mention names; we were two very proud girls that day. We built bunds, watered the neem plant everyday for a year or two (I think). Another plant that belonged to a couple of my friends was also taken care of thus.

More than a decade later, I got a chance to visit the place. These two trees stood tall. Unfortunately, none of the others had survived.

Have been thinking of my neem tree for more than one reason

A friend gifted P a plant on his birthday, he refers to it as "happy plant" - says it is happy because he waters it everyday :)

With P playing by himself with friends, he follows their advice more than ours. He would never pluck leaves/flowers earlier, but now "his mind tells him to pluck because R&T asked him to" :( The Dogmatix in me is sad

S when talking about the gardens in the apartment complex we live in, mentioned the "readymade" trees (funny how there is an instant version of everything these days), that the recent ones are all neem and it might help with the mosquito situation.

For P's birthday party this year (which I still need to post about), the theme was Nature. For the return gifts, I had to choose between gifting books about plants, and gifting saplings. Tulika's latest offering has both - a book AND a plant!

All it takes is a year or two of our effort. Once that is done, the tree doesn't need anything more from us, it just gives. Amazing, don't you think?

I hope my tree is doing fine

"Are you game...

2011-05-10T08:20:00.000-07:00

... for some fun" was what I asked some women at my apartment complex.
We played the games we all used to, as kids. Lock-and-key, Chain-chain, Dog and the bone... It was fun, and the exercise...!! More ladies turned up today... AND post our session 6 year old girls started playing ! :) :)

There is so much that can be done, now that we have made a start - fingers crossed

I'd heard a few mothers saying their daughters weren't running around as much as they should, that they preferred talking. I've felt so myself, barring a few exceptions (like the twins P plays with) most girls in this complex aren't physically active, by my definition atleast. Then, I was told they 'play Marriage' (!!!). Wanted to do something about it. Especially when I saw the look of wonderment when P's newest cricket-dost saw me hold a catch one-handed, and the incredulous 'Aunty, you can swim??!!' when a girl saw me swimming.

Plus, with all the hobby classes, and everything else kids do nowadays, the traditional activities seemed to be dying & needed reviving.

Selfish interest - get other kids to drop their beyblades so P has company.

I am so pleased with the way things turned out :) Wasn't sure how people would respond, turns out everyone is very enthusiastic. We are all there anyway to keep an eye on the kids, just that we don't stand around chatting anymore (another plus).

Our Family Toy

2011-05-04T10:06:00.000-07:00

These wooden blocks have provided hours of entertainment

This was my attempt at cheering up a listless P when he was unwell. In the process, I'd released the blocks that had been kept in reserve for a day when *I* was unwell.

Then P went on to construct a school...

I forget what this one was:

S built a sun temple...

P created this and christened it 'Up arrow - Down arrow' !

This is a playground, so says P

P's turn to build a temple...

Another temple by S (and we are not even a religious/ritualistic family!)

Car parks, S & mine, constructed by P.

He insisted the second car not be aligned, that is how I park when I am in a tearing hurry, which is just about always I guess

Now for the car servicing station...

The latest is that the twins from next door are having fun with these blocks every afternoon. After some altercations, the twins have agreed not to build tall buildings, because P doesn't like it when they come crashing down :)

Some gems from P

2011-04-08T10:53:00.000-07:00

P looking down (quoting) - "Stomach... My mother's stomach is full, 100%, but there is another person I have to share my apple with. You have to understand that. Okay?". The other person being P's dad who is having a shower. I watch P struggle to exercise self-control, he loves fruit. I check with S, how much longer. I come back to find P still in conversation with his stomach. When he finds it very difficult, he puts his lip against a small piece of apple, sort of just wetting/nibbling a bit so that he can stop himself from actually taking a bite. Not wanting to prolong the agony, I hand him an orange and he is relieved as he busies himself peeling it
------------
I'd bought a couple of books by Bill Bryson. S, who doesn't read fiction, except for books by a handful of authors, is curious after getting a scare hearing me snort all of a sudden, decides he must check this out, and is hooked. S reads a few pages (the skunk spray episode) to P, who also gets hooked (he has been told it is a funny book, so he does a lot of canned laughter type reaction. That, and the fact that he can read the author's name on the cover probably contribute to his being a BB fan)
P (holding a copy of Bill Bryson's Notes from a Big Country): Why don't we have other Bill Bryson books?
I see that he is looking at the last page with pictures of 'other books by the same author'.
I am pleased to inform him we do have another book by Bill Bryson.
He wants to know where that is.
I ask him to look in the bookshelf.
A minute later he exclaims happily.
I turn to find him with Neither Here Nor There, Travels in Europe. He proudly informs me that it is written "like this" but he read it. "Like this" being the author's name in cursive writing. I haven't taught him to read cursive, neither has he been taught at school, guess it is intuitive.
-------------
P is hyper-excited when trying out clothes for size in the store. I ask him why he is so excited. He says "I'm excited because it is the same shop".
Now... I do this annual bulk purchase of P's clothes. The last time was atleast 10 months ago. I'm surprised he remembers, because we've been to that particular store only once before.
I was smiling, because I remembered S recounting that one of his childhood memories is of the entire family making their annual trip to a trusted tailor in T.Nagar to get clothes stitched for Diwali, a ritual he finds amusing now. It was also the only time in the year they ate out. I wonder if P will tell his family about our annual expedition!
-------------
At a traffic intersection, I notice a man selling small toy motorbikes. They are in red, P's favourite colour - has been consistently for the past many months. The toy bikes are glistening in the sun, very inviting, especially to someone who loves anything with wheels. I turn away, pretending I haven't seen anything, curious to see how P would react. He has never asked us to buy anything, but I thought this would be tough for him to resist.
A couple of minutes later, I see P shaking his head, looking at the seller. I ask P what he was doing. P informs me he was telling the toy bike uncle he didn't want bikes. Because he already has a bike. "Toy bike uncle doesn't know that, so I'm telling him."
------------
A tree that seemed to have been rotting, was chopped down near our home. So, P & I had a conversation about all living things growing old and eventually dying. Many days later, P asks me if God knows games. I asked him why he wanted to know. His reply: 'Then I can play with Her.'
------------
P has been seeing a lot of pregnant women lately. Hence, the desire to have a baby of his own, when he is grown up. So that he can 'teach the baby good things and care of it'. Initially, he was of the view the baby would 'come from him'. I explained that babies grow in aunties tummies. So, the next time he brought this up, he assumed baby would come from me (!). And worse, I would not eat (!!) - because there would be no space for food in the tummy, with a baby inside.
------------
P has a long-standing desire to have a pet dog. I have now started thinking about it seriously, no plans in the short-term, but maybe when P is a teenager and can take care of the dog himself. I must confess I have never been a dog-lover, I had to convince S after marriage why it wasn't practical for us to have one at home. But, ever since I started pretending I am not afraid of dogs (so that I don't pass on my fears to P), I have started liking, and even loving them. It is the one thing that P has asked for, and really wants, how can I not give in?

We were reading a book about farm animals, and I asked P what kind of a dog he would like. I asked him to choose between the ones that he sees regularly and knows by name. We could have its puppies, I said. He chose one, and said it had a red leash. Hopefully, I asked him if just the leash would do, or did he want a dog too? He said there needed to be a dog at the end of the leash. (those were his precise words, made me look like a fool, I know).
I spent 7 years convincing S we shouldn't have a dog, I now see myself spending the next seven convincing him we should have one!
------------
Me: P, how do I look?
Pat comes the reply "You're not looking good, ammi".
He hasn't even looked up. So, there are two possibilities:
1. He is saying this without even seeing what I'm wearing because he's upset with me (for saying he can't take his "phone" for a "meeting" in the car i.e a plastic hammer shaped like the elderly homeo doctor's vintage phone.
2. He has seen what I'm wearing and thought about how I look, even before I asked.
I ask him why he thinks I don't look good. He answers, still busy with his "phone", not looking up, 'You don't look nice in thin dress'.
I ask him what he means by thin dress.
He comes over, fingers my soft flimsy handloom shirt and says 'This, this is thin, see?' (!)

Small step, giant leap

2011-03-20T10:47:00.000-07:00

Thoroughly enjoyed making P's costume for his annual day, so much more fun than store-bought outfits.

An unwilling model...

Turns into a willing one - a bow and arrow is what it takes!

On the day of the event, helping out (unsolicited). Must have figured out somehow that mom was running really late (anyone who knows me well, knows that that isn't too difficult!)

We had prepared him, had taken care to see he wasn't under pressure, the teachers at school had talked to him positively about being on stage... Still, as we entered the venue, P was visibly taken aback. He hadn't expected to see hordes of people. Neither had we, the crowd must have been around 700 strong.

There was a single theme around which children from the various Montessori environments performed - song, dance or skit.

To start with, the children told us about the different skills they learn in a Montessori environment - Practical life, Sensorial, Language, Math and Cultural. We were then asked to join the kids on a day in school... on their journey around the world, and we did. Starting from India - a fantastic Bharatnatyam performance by 6 year olds had me awestruck. Onto each continent... each done very differently. A fabulous idea and brilliantly executed. Culture, Wonders of the world, Icons (featuring Bill Gates, Obama, Queen Elizabeth, Mozart, and Maria Montessori!), Languages, Clothes, Wildlife, Flags, Food - I'm sure each of the performing kids learnt something at the end of it, I certainly did. What is more, the kids had a ball too, since the concept was such that each one was able to do what they enjoy the most. P was super-excited about being a tribal :)

P executed both pieces of his Amazonian tribal dance till the very end. It wasn't easy for P, not at all, but he did it. We were two *very* proud parents, as was everyone else. Here is the star after the performance, clearly overwhelmed by what he had managed to achieve.

I appreciate his determination and spirit more than anything else. A case in point... his enthusiasm when he tucks into good food at a restaurant - tummy full and almost bursting, he still insists on tasting everything on the table, taking breaks if required. Including licking pickles... he looks at me accusingly, pointing to the pickle jars, asking 'what is in there, you didn't serve me that?' ;-)

Milestone

2011-03-05T09:20:00.000-08:00

A lazy morning after a long long time, late start and lots of laughter.

P had his guard down and revealed some school gossip: 'D asked someone to say sorry 5 times.' and
'B and S were both in the restroom at the same time.'

We were to leave home at 9.30 sharp. We left precisely 2 hours late :) and noone was complaining

--A doc visit. A review checkup, that things are better has now been officially certified.
--lunch at Chowka, a wholesome Rajasthani meal at a very reasonable price considering it is unlimited. The ambience is nothing to write home about but the food more than makes up for it. Some non-Rajasthani fare too, but the dal baati churma, malpua rabri, missi roti, bajra roti, ker sangri, even the pan... mmm
--the sale at Sutradhar - picked up Aksharit, the Hindi version of Scrabble (thanks Chox, for blogging about it!), a Potli Madhubani kit (for myself!), books, wooden blocks, wooden rolling pin for P, and a couple of other wooden toys.
--a quickie-quick visit to Claytopia to pick up the fridge magnets P had painted (8 months ago!)
--Cafe Max @ Max Mueller Bhavan for some cheesecake. In three words, I was disappointed. A spoonful of sugar and the bistro at Claytopia are still my favs.
--a friend's mother needs to have knee replacement surgery and blood was required. Things just clicked and I could be there just in time. Turned out I couldn't donate, Hb was low. I had anticipated that and asked S to wait, turned out his blood was acceptable. P and I had a lot of fun while we waited, running around trees (not filmi style!), making up silly games. Picked up some fallen branches/twigs for the bow-arrow part of P's annual day costume... which I need to start work on *NOW*

Got back just in time to feed a sleepy P. As I sat down to eat with my plate of adais, P wanted to know why I always ate last, and got hugs from both parents.

Milestone -- Spent 8+ hours outside home with no snack box packed!

Another review checkup for P scheduled two weeks from now, hope to have similar fun ;)

Ealier this week we'd spent as much time outside home but with *loads* of food packed. A hilarious picnic it was, multiple monkey attacks made us flee from the spot and we finally picnicked at the Bangalore International Airport!!! Read a friend and fellow blogger's account here.

Another frantic end-of-month post

2011-02-28T09:11:00.000-08:00

A full month it has been.

An exhibition of sorts at P's school.

The two themes during the course of this year were Plants and Penguins. Craft and a whole lot of activities around these themes. Some pictures here. The leaf painting is P's handiwork.

P enjoyed showing off "his" (Montessori) material. The biggest revelation for the parents was this "incharge board". Each student has a task to perform on a day - P's favourite is being mat incharge :) Ask him what he did at school and he would say 'important work'. Further probing would result in 'rolled up all the mats'. No wonder!

Had the first of a series of 'ilaaka blogger meets'. These three lovely ladies who live very closeby came over and it was a very refreshing morning with a lot of yummy food (a potluck!), fun, and promises to have a craft session next time :)
P made these cards for the aunties, duly signed and initialed them too.

At the apartment complex, the reading room fest came to a close with the final event.. a Quiz, conducted by the hubby. The inhouse annual magazine was launched on the day.

On the same day was a classical music event with residents performing, on account of Basant Panchami. A fitting end to a very pleasant evening, I enjoyed myself immensely.

It was my turn to host the Lalitha Sahasranamam, and I attempted a new burfi recipe, somewhat like the seven cups. It was a big hit, if I may say so myself.

Resumed watching plays after a very long break, too long. Sabudana vadas, vada paav et al were heartily consumed too.

Took P to Thyagaraja Aradhana.

A minor scare with P's hearing getting affected after prolonged inflammation of adenoids. All is well, albeit after a course of steroids.

Annual day at the NGO..

Kinkini Dance Festival

2011-02-03T09:32:00.001-08:00

Mohini Attam, Pallavi Krishnan.

Bharatanatyam, Tandava.

Odissi, Nandini Ghosal.

Kuchipudi, Dr. Raja Reddy and Dr. Radha Reddy.

Srirangam in pictures - III

2011-02-03T08:13:00.000-08:00

Raja Gopuram by evening.

View of the Rock Fort, Trichy from across the Kaveri. Pic taken from Amma Mandapam in Srirangam.

At Raayar Thoappu. Hanumar Vaahanam getting ready for porappaadu (departure).

Utsvar before porappaadu.

See the tail lying there? There was some trouble getting it fixed.

Kovil Yaanai (Temple Elephant)

Later that evening, Hanumar Vaahanam on the streets surrounding the temple.

There... the tail is attached now

Srirangam in pictures - II

2011-02-02T09:25:00.000-08:00

(All pics taken within the Temple premises.)

The Sesha vaahanam in Vaahana Mandapam.

The pic above was clicked before I realised that photographs were of Muulavar (or SthirMuurthy) were not permitted.

Put your fingers into the holes and stretch to look at ParamaPadaVaasal!

ParamaPadaVaasal.

Outside Thaayaar Sannidhi.

Outside Thaayaar Sannidhi.

Outside Thaayaar Sannidhi.

Outside Narasimhar Sannidhi.

Outside Narasimhar Sannidhi.

Outside Narasimhar Sannidhi.

Outside Narasimhar Sannidhi.

Outside Narasimhar Sannidhi.

Outside Narasimhar Sannidhi.

Near AayiranKaal Mandapam.

Dashaavataram minus two :(

Ranga Vilas, fancystore-like shops within the temple complex.

Srirangam in pictures - I

2011-02-02T08:57:00.001-08:00

Pongal-O-Pongal

The Month That Was

2011-01-31T09:40:00.000-08:00

Attended 3 Carnatic music concerts over a period of 2 days and was charmed, enthralled, and even transported

A trip to visit my grandparents in Srirangam during Pongal. Two temple processions, two visits to the Ranganathar temple of 2 hours each, and dipped my feet in the Kaveri too. Another middle-of-the-night procession at the temple. Went to a thread ceremony while I was there, and met this amazing family once again. Bought some old-style (but cool IMO) stuff too. Collagey posts on the trip will follow.

P's uncle was in India and stayed with us for a while and P took it upon himself to make sure he was comfortable "The basement is where cars are parked", "come inside the lift", "that is B.D.A Complex, this is Mc Donald's" (!!!)

The entire household had flu-like symptoms, twice.

Went to the Kinkini dance festival, against all odds.
Couldn't make it to the inauguration on Jan 26 as that was the day P's uncle was leaving.
Day 2 was Kathakali and Mohini attam. I didn't want to miss the Kathakali as it isn't everyday one gets an opportunity like this in Bangalore. I had not been able to find directions to the venue and noone answered the phone number on the website. P had been wheezing but I had decided to go as there was no fever. First, our man who never naps, went to sleep just an hour before we were to leave home. Thankfully he woke up (that must have been the wheezing, but anyway I was happy). Then, at the door I thought he felt too warm. Out came the thermometer, and paracetamol too. Having cancelled the dancejaathre plan last month (P had a bad wheeze and fever then, plus vomiting), I was determined to go ahead. The temp wasn't very high and he seemed eager to go.
We had such a good experience that we decided to go again the next day. Paracetamol story was repeated. Bharatanatyam performed by a group of 4 young men was *AWESOME*. Odissi was breathtakingly beautiful albeit slightly monotonous after a point.
Day 4 had to be skipped as there was a birthday party to attend.
Day 5 we had to miss the first half, a bharatnatyam performance as there was a reading room event that I had to go to. We did manage to reach in time for the Kuchipudi performance by Dr. Raja Reddy and Dr. Radha Reddy. Perfectly executed, and commendable at their age. I did feel there was something missing though - considering their mastery of the art, a bigger impact should have been created. The use of shadows in the Krishna-Arjuna Gitopadesha was impressive, and watching the shadow magnified 2X, I really felt it was Lord Krishna himself. Of course, watching shadows rather than the dancers was better for other reasons too!

I enjoyed the music accompanying the dance performances tremendously, must keep an eye out for any upcoming music concerts.

P maintains he liked the mohini attam and odissi performances the best of the lot.

Back at home he got busy with a steel dabba placed like a mridangam. Asked me to dance and then disappear into the 'hole'. The centre table functions as his stage, and there are persistent demands for an orange cloth like the mridangam person had. No, a white cloth just will not do.

Woke up at around 3 yesterday, to make a trip to the Kaveri at Srirangapatna. A dip in the river during this month is considered holy (or holier than usual). Not something I would've planned/done myself, but others in the Lalitha Sahasranaamam group had initiated it and I thought it would be a nice experience overall. We reached the river at 6, before sunrise and it was colder than I'd expected. After the bath, we went to the SriRanganatha temple there.

Consistent sleep deprivation over a period has started taking its toll. The body starts reacting on being abused, and it is time to take the warning signs seriously. So bear with me if the promised posts take longer to appear than they should, but appear they will.

Taking fresh guard

2010-12-30T10:01:00.000-08:00

100 posts. A year since I created the blog and 11 months since I started writing.

It has been a lovely journey, thank you - followers, commenters, readers, lurkers, all... - for being there !

A new year. A new beginning.

Clowning around

2010-12-29T10:04:00.000-08:00

Took P to the Great Bombay Circus (in Bangalore) today. Trapeze artists, acrobats, jugglers, clowns and some animals. It would have been great had the show lasted just an hour instead of two.
P was in a state of extreme excitement, laughing his head off for the first hour. Then it got monotonous and the popcorn/chips vendors distracting. Towards the end, it got interesting again. A good experience overall.

What is brewing?

2010-12-27T08:15:00.000-08:00

What both P & I wonder when I'm cooking.
He, about what I'm going to dish up.
Me, about the mischief that is brewing.

Mustard, chilli, onions disappear and make their appearance in chest of drawers in other rooms. I use workarounds at times, leave out ingredients some other times. Salt is the one thing one cannot cook without, so I have backed it up - twice.

Still, there was one time I was cooking potatoes and had to call S&P who were on their way to get a haircut - the heeng was missing (it is a crucial ingredient to counter the gassy effect of potato). 'Rightmost' I was told. 'Which room?', I asked.

P exulted in the same kind of mischief as a baby, crawling away quickly to hide things under the rug, into drawers or stashing them away under his cot. The giggling and cackling that follows hasn't changed either.

Here is a photograph of my kitchen "loft" - that is the lid of his cup lying up there. And everyone thinks he is a 'good boy'. Ha!

What can you not survive without in ur kitchen? Salt, my cooker, knife and chopping board
What don't u want to live without? Onions, tomatoes, sugar, masher

Dress-up

2010-12-27T08:02:00.000-08:00

Priest conducting service on Christmas.
(Dad's old t-shirt.)

Shepherd
(Same old old t-shirt.)

Aunty.
("long hair" = P's PJs.)
Idea and implementation -> P.

What we've been reading - Books that drew giggles

2010-12-19T09:54:00.000-08:00

Biscuit Finds a Friend

Recommended by s (the non-resident one).
P giggled when I read this book aloud - a first. Simple and relatable.
An 'I Can Read' book, these days we are looking out for more of these.

---
Danny and the Dinosaur by Syd Hoff

HarperCollins Publishers, An I Can Read Book

When Danny visits the museum, he sees a dinosaur exhibit and wishes he could play with one. His wish comes true and subsequently a lot of never-seen-before things happen

A dinosaur stopping at a traffic light for one
The dino thinks buildings are rocks that can be climbed
Why wait for a bus when one can ride on the dino's tail instead
Crossing the street made easy, walk across on dino's back
Danny wants to go to the zoo to see the animals. With dino's entry, noone looks at the zoo animals
Danny's friends have a ride on dino's back, round and round, faster and faster, way better than a merry-go-round.
Its not fun to play hide-and-seek when you're as big as a dino, there *is* nowhere a dino can hide
The dino is smart, friendly and helpful, and has had the most fun in a hundred million years
At the end of the day, dino has to go back to the museum. Danny doesn't mind too much, after all they don't have room for a pet that size.

P was greatly amused by the dinosaur's antics, the book was a big hit.
This is not a book for dinosaur facts however, just some silly fun.
---
No, David! By David Shannon
Scholastic Inc.

P has been complaining 'you're always saying Don't do this, Don't do that.', so when I saw this book I snapped it up.

When award-winning writer and illustrator David Shannon was five years old, he wrote and illustrated his first book. The text consisted entirely of the words "No" and "David" ...and pictures of David doing things he was not supposed to do.
The book 'No, David!' has variations of these words, accompanied by illustrations that had P in splits. P instantly identified with David - he comes into the house with muddy boots, has the bath overflowing, runs out of the house without any clothes on, creates a ruckus, jumps on the bed.. okay you get the picture, right?
So when we got to the last page where David's mom comforts a weepy Davey with the words 'Yes, David... I love you!' he got all mushy. Me being me, I seized the opportunity to tell him we correct him only because we love him and want the best for him... and we know what is best for him because we have lived on earth for many more years. We wouldn't need to scold him if he never did the things he knew he shouldn't be doing. Yes, a long speech! P was all ears and definitely more cooperative the next day. I got kissed a lot too :)
This book rocks if you're going through tough times with a rebellious young person! So much better than nagging and yelling

pics courtesy Amazon

2010-12-15T08:22:00.000-08:00

I have been lucky so far with respect to domestic help (*touchwood*). The lady who works at our home currently is sincere, well-mannered and educated (completed two years of B.A., but I think she would have been sensible even otherwise). She makes some thought-provoking observations, doesn't gossip (we talk about her children, P, politics, the status of their dreams - a roof over their head, a taxi for her husband... or she informs me that we are running out of detergent!). She buys books for her children, takes them to the planetarium and takes parenting seriously in general

I asked her to take a look at the Tulika books that I had on sale, and that I could get the Kannada versions delivered. She spent a long time looking through them, and seemed to be putting in a lot of thought. After a while, she came up with precise requirements - she would like English-Hindi bilingual books (because Kannada is what her kids will learn in anycase) and there ought to be a lot of text. She considered the cost aspect and after repeating 'all the books are very nice', finally picked out three books - The Village Fair, My Friends in the City and Lion & the Fox (Panchatantra). Her selection was interesting, I thought.

I hadn't really considered the money aspect, but when I did, I knew I wasn't going to let her pay for them. I also made a mental note to get some NBTs and CBTs, which are dirt-cheap (as government-aided) but good.

A couple of days later she seemed delighted and told me that the books are excellent. Her son's 2nd language is English, and third language is Hindi. She'd made him promise not to read the text in English. He was to translate from Hindi to Kannada first. After completing this exercise, he could read the English text and translate to Kannada again. He was allowed to refer to the dictionary.

Then last week she told me he had made 'fair copies' of the translations, labelled them with his name marked 'Author', and was pleading with her to let him tell his extended family that these were his original stories.

We may not satisfy every whim or splurge on the latest gizmos, still.. our kids have it so easy comparatively

Madras Nalla Madras

2010-12-13T09:53:00.000-08:00

The trip I'd been looking forward to for a long time.

As the planned date of departure drew near, P was down with the viral and his temparature was 104+ (previous record was broken). Husband suggested I go alone. On the day of departure fever had subsided to more managable levels. So I did, with tears in my eyes as I said goodbye while P cheerily went 'Bye! Have fun, love you'. I was relieved but disappointed too.
24 hours later P began to wonder if I would ever return and longed for my presence. His brief conversations on the phone were variations of 'love you'. On my return, I was slobbered with kisses and I must admit I enjoyed all the attention.

A wedding = Gorgeous Kanjeevarams + Jewelry + Kalyana saappadu + Bakshanam + Family (extended), Friends of family, Family of friends + Music.

A trip down memory lane to the college where I studied (err.. went to).

A visit to the Tulika office. They'd said they close at 5.30 and I made it just-in-time. Turned out they were hard at work until much later though. Met the folks who come up with the most awesome stuff. Bought books from the Looking at Art series, the CV Raman one (Why the sky is blue) and all the books from the Freedom struggle series (Yeah yeah P hasn't even turned four yet, I am hoarding)

Came back minus my mobile but plus S' binoculars. We've been peering into the eagle's nest during the day and moon-gazing at night.

Christmas celebrations at the apartment complex. The sheep in the manger couldn't attend practice sessions. That was good in a way, interest may not have been sustained otherwise. The last-minute sheep was thrilled with its ears. Baa-ed away to glory (self-addition to script). When all the shepherds and animals went to see Baby Jesus, our sheep with a mind of its own was facing the audience, smiling and waving to his parents
Santa said Merry Christmas and said 'good boy'. P seemed to think God has descended from His abode. And that Santa has a telescope using which he monitors P's activities (why then did he still think he had been good). He wanted to know why Santa's mouth doesn't open much - explanation given was that Santa has to wear a mask to protect him from the (relative) warmth here (!) He actually bought that so the Santa myth lives on for now

RKN's Swami and Friends

2010-12-13T06:24:00.000-08:00

Watched the play last weekend.

I went in thinking 'what I see will never match upto what I have imagined'. I was glad to be proved wrong.

The play was totally engrossing, beautifully adapted but faithful to the novel, with the best bits incorporated - The problem on mangoes. Letter to Messrs Binns for Junior Villard bats. The examination hall scene. Issuing a pass to Karuppan, the bullock-cart man. Khaddar agitation. Conversations with Paati about Rajam.

Paati was adorable, the arithmetic teacher Vedanayakam was a riot, and who would've imagined I'd see Ebenezer in the flesh! Touching too - the search for Swami had me misty-eyed.

The minimalistic set and background score were used brilliantly to provide the right setting that represented Malgudi. For a couple of hours, I was transported to magical Malgudi - darting between Albert Mission School, Nallappa's grove, Lawley Extension and the banks of the river Sarayu. It is not a mean feat to live upto an RKN book, and this one in particular, especially for a huge fan like me. Kudos to the cast and crew for pulling it off

Because I don't want it to be a wordless month

2010-11-30T09:47:00.001-08:00

P-isms first:

Does chikki (peanut chikki) come from chicks?

Attempted playing 'Simon says'. After several unsuccessful attempts, P stops to ask 'What is the spelling of Simon?'. Reminded me of Swami's 'were the mangoes raw?' :)

Got P used to playing with the twins next door every evening. The objective was to get P to go down unaccompanied by me, at some point in the distant future. After a while, the twins begin to need my presence even more than P, and ask 'do you know any other games aunty?'. Guess *I* am the problem!

At school P was taught to say numbers backwards, 10 to 1. He decided to add on numbers on either side, 12 to 0 !

P found an old sci calculator and learnt to verify his mental addition with it.
I've since given him a 'bean calculator' ;-) (a bowl of rajma)
Result: P had cravings and I had to cook rajma the next day

Demonstrated why it is night in America when its day here, using a torch and globe.

P started waking up at unearthly hours, to check if it was late for school. Explained to him that we have an alarm and he needn't worry. That didn't help.
Tried again, this time told him we were getting disturbed. Found him on the couch in the living room early the next morning, after spending a while there he'd tried breathing noisily to see if we would wake up :) He was promptly cuddled and kissed for demonstrating thoughtfulness and consideration

Bedtime routine-
Phase 1: Had to spend a couple of weeks singing the 'Navratri puja song' (Om jai ambe gauri) at bedtime. P appears satisfied now that he has learnt certain lines. He has recorded a few 'songs' (all self-composed, all in gibberish, sounds more like Hindustani than Carnatic) on the laptop by himself.
Phase 2: Cat in the Hat. P was going around wearing a cap at home and proclaiming 'I can show you some tricks', 'Mother has come', 'It is fun to have fun but you have to know how' and the like. Told him I needed to email Appa about some forms and he goes "Should we tell him? Tell me, what would YOU do?" :)
Phase 3: Pooh & friends' Pirate adventure. What happens when one has to read the same book more than a dozen times every day - monotonous droning of 'Is it gold asked piglet', 'Is it honey asked pooh' by self :-(
Phase 4: Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer, which is what we're singing for the Christmas celebrations

P's sports day. He came first during the practice sessions and was very excited.. see how strong he'd become and how fast he could run. On the day of the event, his parents were equally excited when he managed to complete the race in the presence of a *HUGE* audience

As for me, I was busy organising the (post-)Diwali Mela. It was more fun because it was with a friend. Made some new ones too.
On the day before the mela, an indignant P who had been shepherded to the mela venue several times that week sang Western classical for a change. This time no gibberish, the lyrics went 'I don't like my mother' :) Would've been upset if it weren't so funny.

We had a stall too.
Here's a pic of P at the stall :) He took his job very seriously and didn't budge until he was sold out.

I had a great time being a bookseller for a day (week actually, if you include the after-the-event sales at home).
The folks at Tulika were kind enough to send me a shipment of books, the box was so heavy I had to unpack right at the door! I had the complete Tulika catalogue, was overwhelmed by the range that they have. Was thrilled at the way people lapped up the books. Suggesting, recommending, observing different peoples' choices and varied taste - very interesting. There was no monetary incentive, but this was incentive enough.
The kids provided some laughs. Like the one who brought along a friend who had money and added his own order with a matter-of-fact 'Make it two'. Or the ones who came jiggling coins asking 'How much for books?', made their selection and walked away wordlessly when they heard how much it would cost

My mohini attam classes are on in full-swing now. Not that I am any good, but I'm going to try. Learning a form of dance is therapeutic and a positive experience in so many ways - physical activity, flexibility, posture, calming, an expression of the self...

And I made it to the book fest. Yay!

Martin Farm

2010-10-31T10:29:00.000-07:00

Green. Peaceful. Fun.

The Farm Animals.
Petted Calves, a Horse, Goats, Donkeys, Ducks, Dogs. Fed goats and donkeys.
Touched a turtle's shell.
Chased a hen, ran with ducks.
Looked at rabbits, finches, parakeets.

Touched Chiku and avocado. Looked at cashewnut. Touched touch-me-not!

Playtime.

P speaking to animals - cute.
The animals cooperated by letting us hear them - a cow mooed, one of the donkeys brayed, the horse neighed, goats bleated, pigeons cooed
Watched a (possibly embarrassed) goat urinating and defecating.
Baby animals - turtle babies, calves, finch babies, ducklings.

Big plus - not far from home. In fact, even closer than P's school - which could either mean the farm is very close or school is far ;-)

Venue for P's birthday party decided six months in advance :) Yay!

A Question Answers

2010-10-29T10:11:00.000-07:00

At the children's library, I happened to see a copy of the same book that I had as a child - the story of a crow flying away with a child's biscuit. I remembered being depressed by the book. I never really understood why. Borrowed it and shared it with P.

When I finished reading aloud to him, P asked me a question that gave me the answer.

The question he asked me was "Why is there no picture of the aunty giving the girl the second biscuit?"

Fridge Magnet Fun

2010-10-29T09:59:00.000-07:00

Day 1: P spells b-a-b-y.

Day 2: An 'm' appears.

Day 3: Pic below

P : "baby M1 M2"

And here is Day 4

P : "baby M1 M2 M3"

At P's school, children in different age groups are referred to as M1/M2/M3 (M=Montessori). So, I guess he is trying to depict that a baby learns and moves to M1, learns some more and moves up to M2, and then to M3.

Since the set of fridge magnets consists of a single m, inverted w and u have been used. 'Learn' has been spelt phonetically l-r-n

2010-10-28T23:51:00.000-07:00

The library has an excellent collection of puzzles and we are making the most of it.
A library that also lends puzzles is great don't you think, so much better than buying puzzles - what is the fun in doing the same puzzle over and over.

Unfortunately, some like Hippocampus had to stop after pieces went missing.

I switch between borrowing puzzles that are challenging for P's age and with which he needs assistance, to those that he can do independently.

Here is one that he could do all by himself. Within minutes of getting home from the library, he insisted on doing it. Lunch had to be postponed until he'd finished and now the finished puzzle adorns his bed. Its been there for a week, I can only lure him into packing up the pieces with the promise of borrowing another one

2010-10-28T23:37:00.000-07:00

Someone had given me a mehendi cone for Navratri. I would plan to use it everyday, but never got around to it.

Then on Karwa Chauth, I decided to do as the Romans do. Managed to finish just before I had to pick P up. Spent the next few hours doing everything one-handed - getting lunch ready, bathing P, cooking rice. Made me realise how tough life is for the physically challenged. P's stuff actually happened much faster that day, he was terrified the monstrosity would stick to him and never come off.

Much later he decided to have it done for himself, a sun is what he called it :)

Presenting my first ever attempt at Mehendi (*drumroll*)
Okay okay, the design on my hand is pathetic but I so love the cute little hand :)

The colour actually darkens a few hours after the mehendi is scraped/washed off

We had fun that day watching the decked up women passing the thali in typical filmi style. P was disappointed we weren't doing the puja, so P & I passed an imaginary thali to & fro

Stubby fingers to green thumb

2010-10-28T23:15:00.000-07:00

More than a month after P helped sow the seeds, the dhania is almost ready for harvest. Wasn't too hopeful when we started off - after all I had just murdered a tulsi plant by overwatering (yes! I found that growing potted plants is more tricky than in an open plot), and the first signs of life took more than a week to appear

But hey here we are now!

Tulsi, Coriander and Chilli (from L to R)

The few minutes I step into the balcony to water these beauties everyday after P leaves for school are the most relaxing. I take in the fresh air, the greenery (we are blessed that way, miles of forest cover). Praying to God or tending to one's plants - it is all about discipline and relaxation, no?

When they are bigger and P can water them without fear of damage, I'll miss this part of my routine.

I can't bring myself to do the harvesting, brutal methinks. But I know that if I don't it will all wither away anyway - results of an experiment conducted almost two decades ago ;-)

So now we move onto phase 2 - tomato and brinjal :)

My grandfather, Aajoba by Taruja Parande

2010-10-27T09:45:00.000-07:00

This moving book from Tulika (very graciously sent by them for my entry to Blogathon 5) arrived at the start of P's vacation. It was time for P's lunch but I couldn't resist leafing through it. I'd seen a preview here so I thought it wouldn't take long, just a quick peek while P played with the packaging.

A few seconds later... I was hooked. The book brought back so many memories. Taruja's portrait of an adorable and doting grandfather is universal in many ways.

He was a strict man at work and everyone was afraid of him.
She was never scared of him.

A grandfather who knew her taste and who understood when to let her be.

Who told the same stories over and over again.
Who sang old songs in a hoarse voice.

Remembered all the stories of her childhood.
And never tired of applauding his granddaughter's feats.

The little child's activities with results and conclusions. Guaranteed to bring a smile to every adult's face. Children are bound to identify with them
Sample this -
"Activity 2: Digging for hidden treasures.
Found: a tin sheet, some plastic. a strange but funny looking stone, and a dirty but funny looking string.
Conclusion: Will continue digging tomorrow."
A youngster's appetite for adventure isn't diminished by temporary setbacks!

The book had me so enthralled that when the author prompts the reader to flip the pages to hear the flapping of pigeon's wings - I did.

When I read that Aajoba was a gardener, I went 'but thats not true about Thatha' before coming back with a jolt

The secret about how Aajoba met his professors's granddaughter - Aajoba and Aaji's story.
I was teary-eyed... my Thatha's used to joke that a certain year he had made the biggest mistake of his life. The last time I met him, he did again, only... he got the year wrong.

When Aajoba received an envelope with an interesting stamp on it, he would heat some water in a bowl and put the stamp in it.
He used cloth bags and wore oold old pants.
He enjoyed writing and wrote everywhere.
Aajoba loved to keep accounts too.

The memories came rushing, of Thatha, and how he made his own glue, accounted for every single paisa in an old diary, wrote postcards and was proud of his handwriting, and how he always put things back in their rightful place.
Stories from the Mahabharata and the Ramayana, and of Ulysses, on the old uunjal (swing). Of card tricks and brainteasers. Of Saigal's 'Ek bangla bane nyaara'.
I remembered his eccentricities too. Displaying the underclothes that he had stitched, and the ancient manja pai (yellow cloth bag) that he used. He would ask us to guess when he had got a certain shirt or pair of trousers stitched and how much it cost. All of his clothes were much much older than I was.

Taruja says she never saw Aajoba lying sick in bed, not once.

My thatha used to cycle to the club and play tennis till he was 70. When the doctor advised him not to cycle, he walked to the club and played bridge.
When I saw him at 90 he couldn't sit for long. I couldn't bear to see him like that.
Here is a picture of P with his great-grandfather, both relishing sakkara pongal :)

The book is a visual treat, with old photographs, drawings that come to life, and a reproduction of handwritten notes by Aajoba - all used very well with crisp items of text.

I don't know if P will enjoy it, I certainly did. And I hope to be able to show my thatha the book when I meet him next month.

Unplanned blog break!

2010-10-19T08:51:00.000-07:00

Compensating for the > a month-long absence (= the duration of P's school vacation) with this looong post. Don't say I didn't warn you!

I'd been wondering if P was too young for a visit to the planetarium. He does know a little bit about each planet (from one of his books).
Then P "made Mercury and Earth"

So, a visit to the planetarium it was. P & N had fun running around while the grown-ups tried out stuff at the science park outside.

The show itself was alright. Got a chart with P's weight on each planet. The husband couldn't resist buying a microscope at the shop outside

Spent a weekend at Bandipur.
Spotted spotted deer, Bison, Elephants (a herd right beside our jeep, and a lone tusker right by the highway), peacocks, sambhar, boar, fowl, langurs, birds.

A visit to the terrace.

P's first parent teacher meet at big school. It went as expected for the most part. Good that it was at the beginning of the vacation, we came back with areas to work on and could focus on those.

A friend's birthday party.

Festivals are all about food, puja, dressing up and having fun. Not necessarily in that order. We had an overdose of everything.

Religiously (?!) attended the puja for an hour every evening at the apartment complex.
Went to a couple of golus and there was P's golu too.
P was surprisingly cooperative during the evening dandiya practice, he would sleep for the most part having "decided" (in his words) not to nap in the afternoon henceforth.
On the day of the event, P was the first guest to arrive as always, and among the last to leave. Towards the end when the crowd had thinned out, he had great fun with the mike and dandiya sticks.

Apart from all this, 2 hours of outdoor fun with friends every afternoon and 2 hours of indoor play with mom.
The usual - attempting self-reading, math, sticking, drawing, colouring.
We're members at a children's library so loads of books, puzzles from there. Tried Barney and Thomas DVDs but P wept (literally!) for the torture to be ended. Are there any good movies for children his age? Lion King?
P's creation - a lizard's tail from chapati dough. He enjoyed the look on my face thoroughly and went on to make a whole lizard - Eeks!

For Shruti's artsy-craftsy, the playdoh beach (with TWO suns, children having fun, an octopus and a starfish).

Two games mummy enjoyed -
Thinking up words for P to spell using the fridge magnets. The challenge was using up all the letters and not repeating any.
Word correlation. Started off with straightforward stuff like umbrella (the response was rain). I thought 'leaf' was straightforward too, but P's response was bird, because the bird sits among leaves.
Enjoyed P's responses to cues like Amma, Appa, Friends, School, Fun :) Life is simple and uncomplicated when one is a child, I figured.

Answering P's questions - why is the sun round, do lakes have blue tiles, then why is the water blue, why do we have bodies?

The husband had his share of fun watching the test match in the stadium.

I had mine too - met S&A and A's friend V.
And a long overdue visit to Landmark and Staples.

No progress with the plumbing and painting and electrical work and everything else. Productive from P's perspective though.

Wordless Wednesday

2010-09-15T08:08:00.000-07:00

Wordless Wednesday: Country Boat ride in God's own country

2010-09-07T21:18:00.000-07:00

More P-speak

2010-09-06T10:45:00.000-07:00

"Our education system does all that most parents require of it. It keeps the children out of mischief while they're at work. Most of them, anyway.
It must be conceded that it does not train their minds or prepare them for a working life. But then some of our local authorities would be most unhappy if it did. " - Sir Humphrey, Yes Prime Minister.

P is off sick from school 50% of the time. He does learn quite a bit during his time at home. Here is some P-speak.

P had fun with a science kit to do with magnets from the Educational Hobby Centre. Sapphire Toys sources these kits from them, as does Total mall I am told.
Meant for older kids, but P liked learning about N & S poles.
P: Magnet bad-a pannardha, push pannardhae? (is a magnet being bad when it pushes?)

We did some craft with pulses (thanks to Shruti's artsy-craftsy).
P: Pulse hand le dhaane irukkum (Isn't pulse inside the hand?). We'd given him some gyaan earlier about how docs feel for the pulse.

S & I were talking about anti-virus for the comp.
P: Laptop ku joram-a? Viral fever-a? (Does the laptop have fever, viral fever?)

P sees a pic of a Bangalore road in the newspaper (many cars, obviously)
P: How many cars?
Random number generator : 70
P: Can 70 people sit in a bus?
!

P had some rubbish in his head.
Me: thalai le enne irukku paaru (See what you have on your head)
P: paakka mudiyaadhe, celing dhaane theriyum (Whats on my head can't be seen, I can only see the ceiling if I look up)

P's fascination with numbers was triggered by (what else) school bus numbers. He asked me how much a hundred was, so we counted out chana dal. Just as we finished he went 'how much is a thousand?' (!) Thankfully he went on to answer it himself - a very big number. Then he went 'how much is a hundred thousand?' I said 'a very *very* big number' (not much originality huh?). He ignored me and said - bigger than our apartment number! :) Then proceeded to throw the daal all over the floor. Of course he later cleaned up the mess

************************************
P opens mouth *WIDE* till tonsils show in the mirror opposite. Turns around to ask me -What pipe is this (after closing mouth ofcourse). I say tonsils. P is confused, clearly not the answer he expected. 'Pipe maadhri irukkae' he goes (it looks like a pipe). Turns out he thought it was the oesophagus - he had forgotten the name but remembered that it was also referred to as food pipe :)

Last week S taught P the basics of chess - how different pieces move. Some 30 mins into this activity and calls me excitedly 'Come and see! I know this game!!!'

P now attempts reading words that he sees around the house, and also to spell.
Everyday he checks the clock to read the day of the week - F-R-I => Fa Ra Eye = Fri => Friday.
The first whole word he read was from one of his old books - the title OPPOSITES.
He decided to set a reminder on dad's mobile (like his dad does for nearly everything), to remind himself to sleep at 10 o'clock!
P: 'Amma, what is the spelling of 'thucchi'? (thuucchi is babytalk in Tamil for sleep)
************************************

School is also required for socialising and being around children of a similar age methinks.

Of bats and owls

2010-09-01T10:49:00.000-07:00

This morning P slept standing, with arms resting on the dining table. I was curious how long he could go on like that. I did leave him in bed after a good 10-15 minutes in that position.

(Aakhir beta kiska hai. I've slept standing in a bus. I mastered the art of taking down notes while asleep, so I could "prove" I was awake by answering questions. I've had a disgusted prof throw chalk at me to wake me up from my slumber.)

Probably because it was a bad night... for P, not me! There was a tractor at the foot of the bed. Each time he woke up with difficulty breathing, he drove the tractor around in bed. After a few minutes, I'd ask 'shall we try using aspi' (the nasal aspirator) and he'd lie down again

Reminder to self: strategically place tractor every night

Wordless Wednesday: Reflections!

2010-09-01T09:52:00.000-07:00

For those who believe in miracles... and those who don't

2010-08-27T22:58:00.000-07:00

The husband reads the newspaper in great detail during every meal. (Something I crib about, but haven't been able to do anything about. What I can't, P will :) )
Right after he reads the paper version, he checks the online one - just in case there have been more recent developments in the world (!!!)
He tells me about random articles, most of the time my response is - 'what if we stop getting the paper delivered', or 'such a waste of time'.
For the *first* time, he told me about something that had me all ears, and even more surprising (for a newspaper article), misty-eyed.

Here is an excerpt from the article.

While Jamie's twin sister, Emily, was delivered safely, doctors worked for about 20 minutes to get premature Jamie to breathe before declaring that he couldn't be saved.

"It was the worst feeling I've ever felt," mum Kate Oggs told Today Tonight.

"I unwrapped Jamie from his blanket. He was very limp. I took my gown off and arranged him on my chest with his head over my arm and just held him. He wasn't moving at all and we just started talking to him."

Ms Oggs said she and her husband, David, had given up saving Jamie, who was born at 27 weeks and weighed less than 1kg.

"We told him what his name was and that he had a sister," she said.

"We told him the things we wanted to do with him throughout his life."

But after about two hours of being hugged, touched and spoken to, little Jamie miraculously showed signs of life.

" Jamie occasionally gasped for air, which doctors said was a reflex action," Ms Oggs said.

"But then I felt him move as if he were startled, then he started gasping more and more regularly.

"I gave Jamie some breast milk on my finger, he took it and started regular breathing."

Ms Oggs said the remarkable recovery shocked hospital staff.

"A short time later he opened his eyes. It was a miracle," Ms Oggs said.

"Then he held out his hand and grabbed my finger.

"He opened his eyes and moved his head from side to side. The doctor kept shaking his head, saying, 'I don't believe it'."

The husband's conclusion - the Savitri-Satyavan story must have been something similar. While I was sniffling, and marvelling at what prompted this lady to do what she did, and going 'I believe in miracles'

And only yesterday I had told the husband 'Even death is in the mind'

Wordless Wednesday: 'Moo'ving up Mt. Titlis by cable car

2010-08-24T20:11:00.000-07:00

Our Native Village Eco Resort

2010-08-24T06:19:00.000-07:00

Our first holiday in four years and P's first ever. Only a little over 24 hours, but we did stay the night, so guess it counts as one :)

Warning:- The holiday was short, but this post is not!

We were looking for someplace close to home, and where we could cancel/postpone without losing too much, in case P fell sick. Our Native Village fit the bill - 30 km from Mekhri circle and a two-hour drive from home. So near and yet... far from the madding crowd.

The Good

Books in the room and the dining area. I was midway through a Graham Greene, relaxed pace and yet gripping.

The room with a view.

The rooms are constructed old style and keep the heat in during winter, while making summers less hot. The place runs on solar and wind energy.

A couple of days before the trip, we were talking about the old style doorbells, with a rope attached (we have a makeshift arrangement at home). The rooms at ONV had these traditional doorbells!

Peering at the hens, chicks and ducks

The bullock cart which P clambered onto a lot, and which we later had our ride on

Farm fresh vegetables. Pointed out carrots, noolkol, spinach, tomatoes, double beans, coriander, pumpkin, papaya, banana, sugarcane plants to P. P liked seeing the sickles, rakes and spades. Picked up fallen tomatoes and double beans. Farmer uncle gave him a carrot.

Riding into the wind, with P's soft arms and face pressed against me - an experience I will cherish forever

The rain played spoilsport - from 3 pm it went on and on and on. The bonfire had to be cancelled, in its place was this magic show. P started getting distinctly uncomfortable as the tricks got more gruesome. When there was smoke billowing out of his mouth and sticks popping out of it, he pointed towards the door. That was when the show came to an end too :)

Now, back in the safe confines of home, he says he willdo magic and make the dudhoo cup transform into a flower and disappear in the dining chair!

Waking up at 5.45 to the sound of a hen crowing, waaaaaaay better than an alarm

The guided walk through the forest. Heard peacocks but they had gone far in for the rain. Didn't spot any.

Does this look like a scene from a scary Hindi movie? Fear not, jungal mein mangal hai.

The lotus pond within the resort.

Trying my hand at the pottery wheel - something I've wanted to do for ages.

We have these pots as keepsake, planning to paint them. But first I need to practise on paper, and figure out what paints to use.

Father and son flying kites, mother tried to learn how to make kites. At one point, the father had the kite flying really *high* up in the sky, and loved the feeling. It was probably too high up, the handmade kite tore and came crashing down.

Tops, catapults - the father was good at all of this, while the mother enjoyed fooling around, and the son of course was busy teaching everyone else ;)

The grasslands.

A 'Hollywood movie shooting' (the bullock cart man said so). It turned out to be a photoshoot for a clothing brand with child models.

A couple playing golf.

Enjoying nature, relaxing and fooling around with the sheep and goats.

A family seated atop boulders picnicking - fun on a budget.

Different strokes for different folks.

Now that the pictures have spoken for themselves, it is P's turn.

When he first saw the farm animals and the vegetables growing in the fields - "Which country is this?"

After a few hours of fun, he started referring to our room as home. Quietly made the assumption we would be living there forever, a very agreeable idea I thought.

When it hit him that we were driving out of the place, he was quite upset and waved frantically to daddy driver 'Reverse and go back to where you had parked'

Back at home, he steadfastly refused to enter the house. Finally our man of principles let himself be carried in. And then, he kept flailing his arms and legs refusing to set foot (literally!) in the place. Cute and very understandable.

P hit it off with the staff. He also made friends with and stroked the farm dog Suguna, the bull Basavanna, and one of these sheep in the grasslands.

In my note(vote?) of thanks, I raved about the staff - friendly and attentive without being overbearing.

And the food - Farm fresh produce is used, apart from what is procured locally or from Parisara. The food is vegan and oil-free and whole-grain and very healthy. But what matters to me is that it is *AWESOME*.
Lunch 1 - Lentil soup, Sprouted salad, cucumber-capsicum-cherry tomato salad, tinda palya, pumpkin palya, ?, Rotis, Dal, Coconut milk rice, Plain rice, Peanut curd rice, Carrot halwa
Dinner 1 - Bambooshoot soup, 2 salads, dhoodhi koftas, Aloo in coconut gravy, cauli-mushroom bhaji, phulkas, another Dal, Coconut milk rice, Plain rice, Peanut curd rice, Banana shrikhand
Breakfast - Fresh fruit, Appam with stew, Whole grain upma with coconut chutney, Parathas, cereal, bread with banana jam and peanut butter
Lunch 2 - Pumpkin soup, Beetroot salad and mixed veg salad, Akki Rotis, mixed veg palya, tomato gojju, cauli-noolkol kuuttu, brinjal gravy, Palak Dal, Sabsige rice, Plain rice, Peanut curd rice, Dhaal payasam with coconut milk.
Kids special - khichdi
Roasted saunf and flaxseed.
Outside the package - aloo tikki and bhel puri as an evening snack.

There is yoga and meditation every morning and evening. Optional for guests but mandatory for staff.

Speaking to several of the staff members, I felt theirs was a stress-free existence, full of positive energy. No wonder the resort is India's own Disneyland... of the mind and soul.

The Bad

It rained non-stop from 3 pm till bedtime and maybe even longer.

Whiling away time with Indian board games (pallankuzhi, pachisi) and books. Putting our hands out in the rain, watching the raindrops, the trees getting a good clean... and... just doing nothing for once

But the rain meant no bonfire.

The slush meant we had to change after every activity. Got back with a couple of loads of washing. And what did we find... no water, due to one of the borewells running dry and some issues with the tanker supply that day. When the tanker finally arrived, there wasn't enough pressure and the machine wouldn't run. So we still have smelly muddy clothes. Hopefully by tomorrow the wash will be done and I will be onto the next problem - space to dry out all the clothes.

Things took an ugly turn. We had been asked if it was okay to use sambhrani in our room for the mosquitoes. We had said yes. We had used 'computer sambhrani' when we first came to India and while it wasn't very effective (P had huge red marks all over his body) it didn't cause any harm.
But this time, it wasn't the 'computer' version, so there was a lot of smell and fumes, and we happened to be in the room when they did it the second time. The husband had an immediate and very bad attack of wheezing, scary because I had never seen it this bad. He gestured that he had his asthalin inhaler, but I still wasn't sure... knowing him... Thankfully, he did have it. We watched P, he has inherited these allergies and at his age has to rely on oral medicine which is quite slow-acting. so we were extremely fortunate that the thing didn't cause an extreme reaction in his case. He did develop wheezing that night but it was slow and not as severe - a couple of doses of what P calls 'Sal' did the trick.

We had hoped to visit the rabbit farm closeby but couldn't locate the place. No time for the CPDO (poultry farm) either, and anyway P was fast asleep by then. A must-visit, will hopefully do the rabbit and poultry farms then, as also Nrityagram and Hesaraghatta lake.

I would recommend ONV to families with kids of age 2.5 and up.

In case you plan to visit:
-Do view the video map with directions to the place. We stopped to verify that we were on the right track a few times - people in the area have no idea of time or distance.
They pointed us in the right direction, but ask 'how long will it take' or 'how far' and all they could say - if you keep going you'll reach :) Cute!
-The roads are good. The last stretch is a mudpath but even that is better than Bangalore's potholed roads, so no worries.
-There is a discount during monsoon.
-One of the staff members said the best time to visit is during the monsoon (?!), another said just before summer. I would say October, just after the rains when its all green, but not rainy or too hot.

Any suggestions for child-friendly accommodation at Kabini/Nagarhole/Bandipur/Mudumalai/...?

Also, has anyone been to the Gerry Martin farm?

Not mooning around

2010-08-23T09:49:00.000-07:00

P was at home today on account of Onam. Started off with the intention of making the moon's surface and craters with flour and cocoa powder - idea borrowed from Jojoebi.

You can see the objects we used to make craters in that picture, some worked better than others.

It took all of ten minutes, while I was waiting for the cooker to release steam and be in openable state!

P had great fun because he could do it all by himself and the end result was close to what we had in the book. He was however disappointed that we didn't have the "flag of moon country" and was looking longingly at the spaceship too. That is where the husband took over :)

In case its not obvious, thats Apollo 11 landing on the moon.

Thats the moon's surface with craters. Neil Armstrong is a toy farm boy dressed in paper with some shading done. Apollo 11's lunar module is P's toy car with a hexagonal bowl upturned on it, and a ball of paper. Played around with color and exposure settings and voila.

If the conspiracy theory is true, maybe the "original" photographs were created in a similar way ;)

Guessing game

2010-08-23T05:05:00.001-07:00

Guess the game.

Hint - The board and number magnets set (store-purchased) are intended for an entirely different purpose. Game created - idea and implementation - by a 3 year old.

Wordless Wednesday: The Painted Hall Greenwich

2010-08-18T06:46:00.000-07:00

Thanda.. err.. 'Independence day matlab Coca Cola'

2010-08-15T04:25:00.000-07:00

Go to sleep, we have to wake up early tomorrow, its independence day. Me.

What is independence day. P.

He had to choose precisely that time of the day (night) to ask.

A groggy me spouted nonsense about London uncles telling old thathas in India what to do, where to do it and how to do things. But our Indian thathas didn't want that, no sir we wanted our own government, we wanted freedom.

What does a government do? P.

Good question I thought to myself. A government is a bunch of ministers and the prime minister and lots of other uncles, they all discuss and decide things.

What things do they discuss and decide. P.

They meet in Delhi, in a place called parliament. (my cheap trick to buy time to think up which of the stuff they discuss/decide P would be able to relate to).

They discuss stuff like where to lay the underground cables (current obsession #2, since some digging up is happening on the street outside. of course a far second, school bus uncle still rules). And about water and electricity and schools and factories.

What is freedom. P.

Freedom is being free to do what one likes and wants to. (immediately after I said this I felt like kicking myself *really* hard). Too late, damage done. P was grinning, 'inimae nambe free-a irukkalaam' he exclaimed. (we shall be free henceforth). He refers to himself in the plural. Or maybe he knew my cooperation was necessary for his "freedom".

Then in an even groggier state I went on about making one's own salt and what evaporation was. That is when the husband took pity on me and came to relieve me. His version of the freedom struggle was about Gandhi thatha travelling ticketless by train. And then going to London by ship. Train, ship... P went into his dreamworld. And mercifully dozed off.

Cut to morning. Independence day celebrations in the apartment complex.

P ran around "free" and both parents were looking for him most of the time. Insisted on being there till the chairs were taken back in the truck in which they had come. No lunch, no nothing. Thankfully the rain gods were on our side and we did get home after five hours.

What is independence day, I asked.

P: Flag hoisting.

Me: Yes, and?

P: And biscuit. And coke.

I should learn when to stop

Memories... in pictures and words

2010-08-12T20:56:00.001-07:00

My entry to Tulika's blogathon 5, a scrapbook with my memories of the school I liked the most (of the half-dozen I went to!)

Wordless Wednesday: Behind every successful man there is a woman. err.. many?

2010-08-10T10:13:00.000-07:00

Wordless Wednesday: Caeser at the Colosseum

2010-08-03T19:12:00.000-07:00

P-speak (no pip-squeak)

2010-08-02T04:58:00.000-07:00

P is into exception conditions these days and would be an asset to any software development group. This skill was acquired after I told P we could not venture out till the gas cylinder was delivered because what if the gaswallah came when we were not home. Since then I have been asked what if his friend rings the doorbell when noone is home, what if we find that his toys have collected dust when his friend comes over to play and so on.

Yesterday when I was doing some e-organizing, P happened to see a thumbnail of this picture. He thought it was a railway track and asked me to open the file.

This is a shot taken from under the Eiffel Tower while we were waiting our turn to buy tickets. P however thinks any photograph taken outside India is of London, by default.

He noticed the bus (sigh what else) and the trees.

Then came this question:
Nambe London le irukkarche, road illarche, vehicles illarche, trees illarche, ellaamae illarche enne aidum?

When we lived in London, what if there were no roads, no vehicles, no trees, what if there were nothing at all?

The word illarche has been coined by P btw, that was what amused me here :-) Irukkarche = when there is. So the opposite invented by P, illarche = when there isn't.

Managed to answer his query.

After thinking for a moment, he was ready with the next question:

Nambe London le irukkarche, London-ae illarche enne aidum?

When we were in London what if London itself did not exist?

2010-07-30T11:05:00.000-07:00

"Did I tell u I invented a recipe… for want of a better name its being referred to as ‘aloo chutney’. It was simple, different & good too"

- from an email I had sent almost 5 years ago

Recently there was a post on low fat recipes by Sanjeev Kapoor on facebook. Considering we've been swimming in oil (the house could easily have been mistaken for Bondapalli), I was interested. One of the recipes was 'Chutneywale aloo' !!

The recipe was similar to what I had come up with, except I hadn't used certain ingredients like yogurt, garlic.. to cater to hubby's taste buds and my own

A case of a great chef and a so-so one thinking alike

Wordless Wednesday - Watching the world go by

2010-07-27T22:26:00.000-07:00

Seen on Bangalore's roads...

2010-07-26T22:10:00.000-07:00

A child sitting on the lap of the man behind the steering wheel. The car was not stationary, it was a busy road. There were other passengers in the car, so even if one assumes the boy had refused to sit by himself, he could have been with those other people?

I've seen an entire family on a two-wheeler - man riding the bike, women pillion-riding, one kid sitting between them and another child standing!!! Atleast in that instance, I could find some logic (after I had stopped fuming) - they probably could not afford a four-wheeler and so the foursome had to get around on a bike. Hiring an auto would have been a safer choice though.

There was a lot written recently about the government not valuing our lives (in the context of the Bhopal disaster). I wonder if we value our own lives and those of our loved ones. Clearly, there are atleast some of us who don't give it much thought.

Curiouser and Curiouser

2010-07-21T09:38:00.000-07:00

In this post yesterday, I had said that the husband had only a few books that I like.

This is what happened today...

P found a bill - the bill for the purchase of 'my kind of books' by S.

I was surprised, not because it is a decade old (that is to be expected of S). But because I had written something related only yesterday.

I was curious, when exactly had S bought these books. He has always maintained the books were purchased before the two of us had even spoken to each other.

I checked the date on the bill. S had been truthful - he had bought the books before we knew each other.

What I found an amazing coincidence was that the date happened to be my birthday !

Wordless Wednesday: All in a Day

2010-07-20T23:37:00.001-07:00

10 a.m. 6 Apr 2008

7 p.m. 6 Apr 2008

Books

2010-07-19T21:20:00.000-07:00

Spent an hour at the Strand book sale on Sunday, 90% of the time in the children's section. Didn't take my eyes off books for an instant.

Went with a couple of girlfriends and ended the outing with eats at Koshys. Made it feel complete.

Came back with "story" books about plants, dinosaurs, blue whales, bacteria, and one on space.
A kiddie encyclopedia too, for which I had been given precise instructions by S - from the size of the pages to their number and the kind of paper used! S decided I was not to be trusted with the task of buying an atlas though

Had this morbid thought much later - what if P reads only non-fiction later in life?

The hubby reads only non-fiction. Apart from books by RK Narayan, Bill Bryson, Dave Barry and Yes Prime Minister & Sherlock Holmes. This last one both of us tend to make derogatory comments (of the sort... pompous ass, Mr. Know-all) while we read. He owns a couple of my kind of books, and I think it was very shrewd of him to have lent them to me before we got hitched. Shortly after we got married, I discovered to my horror that these were all

He does love to read though - books on the Indus script, Mayans, Phoenicians, Sanskrit, Feynman's lectures, Swami Vivekananda's lectures, Chess, Vedic Mathematics, the Gita and the Upanishads... basically stuff that I cannot read more than a page of.

It would be awesome if P reads the union of what the two of us read - because that would essentially mean everything.

If he tries all genres and likes only the fact-based non-fiction - I would be perfectly fine with that.

If he rejects fiction without even giving it a decent shot - that would make me a little sad.

As long as he enjoys reading, I should be happy I guess.

P gets a sibling, no... two siblings!

2010-07-19T05:50:00.000-07:00

Not what you were thinking ;-)

P's classmate at his new school, R, has taken him under her wings.

First, she borrows a friend's umbrella because P mustn't get wet after getting off the bus. She overlooks the fact that the friend whose umbrella she has borrowed will get wet herself.

P informs me he forgot his bag and R reminded him to take it with him.

In a game of hide and seek (when waiting for the bus. A lot can happen over coffee... and also when waiting for the bus!) R announces she can't be the seeker as 'she has to hide with P to take care of him'.

She tells him how to hold on when the ride is bumpy. Right now it is the bus ride, I am hoping she is there for the bumpy ride that is life

When a boy who is younger than P falls, R is greatly upset. Not because the little boy hurt *himself*. The little boy fell on P causing P to fall too. She deputes her friend to deal with the little boy (read 'scold him') because she has more pressing matters to attend to - making sure P is alright after the fall.

I am amused at the way R looks me up and down when P gets off the bus - 'will this lady take good care of my precious P', she seems to be thinking. She grudgingly sends him off with a 'Go P' as if to say she has no option but to trust me.

P meanwhile is enjoying all the attention. I'm trying to get him to thank her for her kindness.

P's dad is concerned P will go through feelings of rejection if the girl has a sibling (trust him to think of these things!)

Apparently she made a loud announcement today, 'P is my be..st friend'. I am concerned about the other girl who was her best friend until P came along - she must be feeling left out in all this sibling love.

P seems to have learnt something about loving and giving from little R. We met a lady who I introduced to him as another aunty's sis. He wanted to know everything about the word sister - what, why, how. The 'what' was easily answered - people born to the same parents who live in the same house when they are young are siblings. I tried to deflect the why and how by telling him which of his friends had sisters and which ones had brothers. After I was done, he named one of his friends, N, who has no siblings and declared he would be N's brother. He added that they live in the same building and that should be good enough :)

2010-07-15T21:29:00.000-07:00

My entry to the Women's Web Mommy guilt contest found mention (Thanks Simran for letting me know)

"Other notable entries included JLT's Thou shall feel guilty, Cee Kay's Pleading Not Guilty, Arundhati's Mommy guilt or lack thereof, Simran's Guilty or not, Namratha Prabhu's Mommy guilt and Shankari's A mother's guilt gauntlet."

I enjoyed doing the post - the thought process and penning down was therapeutic. That the judges found it worth mentioning is a bonus :)

I shall now do the mountain-load of dishes (the maid is off sick) sporting a silly grin :-))

Wordless Wednesday --- P at 11 months: "I want that camera"

2010-07-13T09:55:00.000-07:00

You know you have OCD when...

2010-07-13T01:11:00.000-07:00

It is well past midnight and all you want to do is sleep
You don't switch on the lights because you are worried it'll disturb your sick child who is tossing and turning
You are putting out clothes to dry in the balcony in the dark... and its cold

BUT you can't help looking for clips that match the colour of the clothes you are airing

How to get over OCD (or atleast reduce the intensity) :
Have a child around

How to have a child at home and yet pander to your OCD :
Train the child.
Warning - If the child's OCD turns out to be worse than yours, you might end up thinking 'this is not what I bargained for'

[Book Review] 'I am Different'

2010-07-10T10:08:00.000-07:00

A picture book by Manjula Padmanabhan, on each page is a puzzle in which one object is different from all the rest. The reader is prompted to find the item that's different - a different colour, a different shape, reversed from left to right, or just ... asleep when others are awake!
Reminded me of one of P's first books, Elmer's Friends by David McKee - the zebra has stripes, the leopard has spots, the giraffe has a long neck... Elmer's friends are all different but they all love Elmer.

Coming back to 'I am Different' - P enjoyed picking the odd one out and shouting 'Hurray!' after each attempt. Some were quite challenging for a 3 year old, and for those clues had to be provided. That means the book can be enjoyed for a while, anything that is easy is quick to be discarded in these parts. Some of them even a certain 30+ took a few minutes to figure out!

One of P's answers puzzled me. On one page there are many birds with a patch of white on the neck. Only one bird was all-black. P pointed to all the birds one by one - except for the all-black - and said they were all different. I later understood what he meant. The crows he sees around in real life don't have the white patch. So all the birds in the book that had the white patch were different !!!

Later I saw that the book has a note "There are many ways of being different, and it all depends upon what you're looking for. These are the correct answers from one point of view. If you feel there are DIFFERENT correct answers, write and tell us!"

The book features the question 'Can you find me?' in sixteen languages. I enjoyed trying out different languages, pointing out the scripts, and showing P how some languages read from right to left.

When we got to the page in Punjabi, I told P his friend N and his family speak Punjabi at home because they are from Punjab.
P disagreed, 'They speak Hindi' I was told.
I tried to explain that saying they speak Hindi too, but Punjabi is their mother tongue because they are from Punjab.
P wanted to know, 'N lives in the same building as us, so why Punjabi?'

When we were done with the book, P got busy making up his own language and speaking to himself in it. I liked the sound of it. Very Indian, vaguely familiar, and yet ... different.

We also read two other Tulika books - 'Sameer's house' and 'Pranav's picture' - interesting concepts presented to young readers in an appealing manner.
Have saved 'The Neverending Story' for a rainy day.

I am grateful to the virtual world for introducing me to these wonderful books for young people by Indian publishers.

I love the books I get from abroad. But its so much better to have them at one's doorstep (well almost) and browse through them for yourself before buying.

Books on Jalebis, Dosas, Saris, marbles, chapati dough and powercuts!

Books with Indian characters, some based on Indian mythology, some with Indian folk art... WOW!

The books are reasonably priced too, at anything between Rs. 70-150 (for the 3-5 age group, books for older kids might be a bit more expensive)

If I don't get to browse through the rest of the Tulika books at a bookstore/library soon, I might just order the whole lot (the ones that are age-appropriate for P) online!

Plays for Young People

2010-07-09T10:33:00.000-07:00

Robinson and Crusoe at Rangashankara this weekend. For children above 8 years and adults.

I've been waiting for the time I can take P to Rangashankara. I did take him the one time they had a special event - The Great Lalula - for very young people. He was two and a half at the time.

This picture however has made me think, is the content suitable for children? I assume it is, still... the sight of two men fighting with fork and stick seems like a recipe for disaster. Especially with certain folks who have a penchant for role play. We are going through the 'school bus helper' phase right now and it is NOT good!

Anyway, if any of you does make it (or has been already) to R & C, would appreciate your feedback. And then in 5 years time, maybe we will get to enjoy it :)

Libraries

2010-07-09T10:03:00.000-07:00

This post by Sandhya made me think about my library experiences. I'm currently lib hunting for myself and for P. I realised that what I'm looking for in my 'ideal library' is a lot to do with the ones I've been to in the past.

My earliest memory of a library, is of a friendly librarian reading aloud to us tinytots. A major event was watching a 'movie' of The Fox and the Grapes. Much later, I realised it was an OHP slideshow :)

The school I went to next, was the one I liked best of the half-dozen I've been to. Each primary classroom had a hole-in-the-wall stocked with age-appropriate books. One could pick out books during recess and lunch breaks, what bliss! Apart from that, our teacher shared her own books with us, and then all of us sat around with her talking about what we'd read. The main library had an excellent collection of books too.

At the same time, we were also members at a local library, to get to which we walked a couple of kilometres every alternate day to replenish our stock of books and comics.

The school I had to switch to after that had a room in the name of a library but not many books. In the five years I studied there, a new and huge library was built. Full of expensive woodwork - it would have been much better to spend that money on books instead.
In the 'colony' where we lived, there was an old musty reading room built by the British. I used to enjoy the atmosphere, the damp and the smells, the feel of the moth-eaten, tattered books, but again it would have helped to have something good to read. The place was manned by a watchman who issued out Women's Era and Femina.

The next couple of schools didn't have a library at all (!).

During these years of inadequate librarydom, we had fortunately built up a vast home library.

During my college years, the library was meant only for technical books. So we quenched our thirst for books by buying books off the pavement - used and new. We also shared with each other in hostel.

When I started working, I enjoyed spending any money I had to spare, on books. There were book sales in the workplace, weekend bookfairs to go to, stores like Blossoms/Strand/Gangarams/Higginbothams/Prism to be discovered.
I strolled into a few libraries in the city but was greatly disappointed.

Then when we moved to the US, I was amazed by the sheer size of the public libraries. One could get lost (and I did too!) in there. If I remember right, twelve yes TWELVE books could be issued out at a time.

Then we moved again, to the UK. Public libraries here were much smaller, but oh so lovely, so many books to read and enjoy. This was the one we were members at.

After P was born, libraries became an almost-daily haunt - at first for the baby/toddler activities. And then to read to P. P loved pulling out books from the shelves too. He was quite good at picking out some great ones for Amma - Amma was overjoyed at discovering new genres and authors thanks to this habit of P's.

Here is P enjoying books at 2 months...

At 5 months!

At 11 months - "See, I have hands too!"

Back in India, my search for libraries begins again. Hippocampus seems to fit the bill as far as P concerned. As for me, I'm still looking. Any suggestions?

When I look at my own (meagre) book collection, the Amul chocolate ad jungle comes to mind - I'm too old for ... I'm too young for ... but I think I'm just right for ??

Bloody Bugger Buggy Blogger

2010-07-06T01:22:00.000-07:00

(Sorry about the language there but couldn't resist the tongue twister + alliteration)
Comments sink without a trace!

At first blogger seemed to have something against Shankari commenting on this blog.

Now that has extended to include others too. More than a couple of times today, Dashboard showed me 'N new comments', but when I clicked into the link, poof... they disappeared. Came back to the dashboard and its back to no new comments.

I thought I would outsmart the cunning devil. Went and disabled comment moderation. I thought the ghost or whatever would not be able to get at the comments then. I was wrong. I now have a comment email notification, but nothing in the blog itself!

Anyway, I shall post the comment myself (and hope that it appears!), atleast I have the email this time.

For all those who took to trouble to comment - sorry that the comment was lost and thanks for your time.

2010-07-05T10:56:00.000-07:00

Why don't school buses have seat belts?

I have heard of a Bangalore school that has air-conditioned buses, but no belts.

Is there something I'm missing? Does anyone know why this is so?

Sinning and worse... Grinning about it!

2010-07-04T05:14:00.001-07:00

Loved IHM's tag, first knew about it from Starry's post and was almost rubbing my hands gleefully.

So.. here's my list of sins against gender stereotypes:

1. I jump off parapets, over compound walls & gates, slide down hillocks. Anything unladylike is so much fun!

2. Out of curiosity, I have tried wine, whiskey, champagne, sherry and beer. Been in pubs in 3 continents. Attempted getting drunk while watching the World Cup Football (not this year, I'm now the sedate mother and all that ;-) ) That had to be aborted, the beer was found unpalatable and there was fear of puking all over the carpet before achieving the objective of getting drunk

3. During the NSS stint in a village while at college, I was asked by my senior to escort one of my batchmates - a guy - to the headman's house around 11 pm. Probably because I had a torch. I had to come back alone.

4. Lived by myself, in a different continent. And enjoyed it. Remember writing in an email to my friends, parents, and in-laws-to-be - 'I feel like a queen' (it was a 2 bedroom serviced apartment with all the conveniences that 'phoren' can offer, in a posh locality. Ahem.. the street was named perhaps aptly Elizabeth Street).

Lived in hostel. Thoroughly enjoyed the experience.. and the independence.

Travelled by myself when single, married and with child. By train, flight and overnight bus. Have been stranded in the middle of nowhere at 3.30 a.m. on a highway and fended for myself (blogged about it here).

I have no problems doing stuff - eating out, shopping - by myself.

5. I have worn makeup only at my wedding reception and school plays, looked like a zombie/witch on all those occasions. I don't accessorize. I don't own any makeup, neither do I know how to do it. There are now some signs of "green shoots" (!) and I feel I should try and learn

6. I can't sit through a television soap.

7. I prefer maroon, black, beige, blue or for that matter any colour over pink. I don't own anything in pink.

8. I have no hesitation discussing any of the things-that-must-not-be-spoken-about.

9. I'm still caught off guard when people ask 'Done with your housework/cooking'?. I have never asked questions of this kind myself.
I love reading about and discussing politics. I find discussing politics or laughing/joking with a bunch of guys more fun than exchanging recipes with a group of ladies.

10. Never played dolls. Never owned a Barbie.

ps - Not including 'Get dressed quicker than hubby dear' as I think this is true for everyone ;-)

On the other hand, I did pretend to be Teacher, a *LOT*.
I used to enjoy gossip - real and reel. Still flip through page 3 type stuff on occasion (if I'm marooned on the couch when the floor is being mopped, and newspaper within reach).
I am terrible with gadgets.
I don't watch sports, though I like to try my hand at playing.
I do like cooking (though I go through phases).
I love shopping - especially for clothes, handicraft, knick-knacks and bags.
And I luuurve chocolates!

And now I tag avymom, Chox, Haddock, Kavi, M4, PnA, rachana, radha, Sands, Shruti, Sim, Sharbori, Sucharita. Blog away lest the curse befall you!

EDITTED TO ADD:
Reading posts by other bloggers, I remembered a few more of my sins and decided to come clean here ;-)

Gambled with a group of friends at Crown Casino Melbourne. Roulette and the coin machines, whatever they are called. An okay experience (I like to try everything once), but never again - found it depressing.

Here is a photograph of me taking a (much-needed) break while mountain biking in Grizedale Forest, Lake District.

There was a time I used a few swear words, of the milder variety. I try not to now, I don't want my 3 year-old saying s* !

I like to check out goodlooking and/or well-dressed girls

The Weekend So Far

2010-07-03T03:49:00.000-07:00

...has been good, and promises to get even better.

Yesterday my best buddies were visiting. Friends from college days, haven't met them in ages. Understandably the decibel levels were high VERY high. Out came the puzzles.. Ages 30+ and 3+ all fell silent. Each in one corner of the room scratching chin/head/ear.. with occasional shouts of 'I give up', before resuming the scratching.

P was both amused and perplexed, his expression said - all these grown-ups fiddling with *toys*?!

I was grinning from ear to ear - the supposedly brainy types (Princeton and Austin Ph.D.s, who I thought might.. just might solve them in a jiffy) were struggling with the puzzles just like I had!

One of them did solve a particularly tricky Tangram one. What impressed me was his focus and ‪persistence. Maybe my non-stop smirking helped in that sense ;-)

Puzzles for all ages!

And this cutesy giraffe for 3+ cuties :)

Dropped in at the neighbourhood library this morning.

And a bookstore. Picked up a couple by Bill Bryson.

And we still have two days to go !!!

'Do we need to buy some beer today?'

2010-07-03T02:34:00.000-07:00

...P asked me while wearing his shoes. We were headed to the play-area.

Now, we don't stock beer at home, neither do we discuss buying it! So I asked him what he meant. He said I should know, coz I am the one who discusses this with Appa.

I wasn't surprised, after all this was the kid who a year ago had informed me 'I need to bring a date'.

That time after a lot of gentle probing, it turned out he was trying to convey that he (=Santa, role play) must get a gift for me(= good girl) on Dec 25 which is the date on which Christmas falls (!!!)

Let me see how long it takes to figure out the beer thing. Any ideas?

2010-06-26T10:57:00.000-07:00

Silk saris always look so different.. and so much better in store lighting than they do at home :( Here are pics

I got home yesterday to find a changed P. He seemed to think he was running the place (maybe he did too)

He wanted the 'sari' to be displayed. I was in a hurry to get dinner ready, but this was something I could not refuse :) As I got the saris out, he noticed that I used the plural. He wanted to know why I needed to buy saris. And why TWO? Yeah this was interrogation by P, not S. S has given me a free hand, turns out he has plans to buy a telescope, hence the generosity.

Later as I was rushing through the chores, P stood next to me like a lost puppy. I asked him what the matter was. He said he had missed me :) :) AND.. he wanted to talk to me! So we kissed and cuddled and talked. When I paused for breath, he said I mustn't, I must just go on & on :)

Buy 2 saris, get self-importance free ;-)

Mum's Day Out

2010-06-25T11:29:00.000-07:00

Sarangi's exhibition cum sale of Kanjeevaram silk saris at Bangalore.

The direct artisan sale at Chitrakala Parishath.

Gym.

Sitting outside Reading a book.

All of it totally unplanned. So unlike me. But so much fun!

S was off sick today (we've all caught whatever bug it was). And I made the most of it!

What I enjoyed most of all was being away, no responsibilities for those few hours. Felt like I was a 20 something again :)

My 2 cents -

If you don't intend to buy, don't step into Sarangi's exhibition. I ended up buying two saris when what I already own lies unused !

I had time to spare after Sarangi, and Ckala Parishath is so closeby. I thought I would take a quick peek and go back for more over the weekend. What I didn't realise that there would be so many stalls... just strolling through took quite some time

If you do go to Ckala, don't miss the Pat Chitra Katha - Pat Chitrakars manning the stall explained and demonstrated this art form. The artist creates a story, then paints it, and then composes a song around it. Each pat chitra has a song, the artist sang one for us in Bangla. A family living in poverty, not educated beyond the primary classes, but with imagination and talent. One of the paintings was about a marriage of two fish, some others were mythological.

Some of the Chennapatna stuff (puzzles/games/toys) is really cool, but you will have to hunt a bit. All of it is heaped together, and the person manning the stall takes some time before he figures out if you are a prospective buyer or just browsing.

Picked up blocks for fabric painting and some knick-knacks. The really big buys I put on-hold, not so soon after the saris!

Close Encounters of a Different Kind

2010-06-24T22:52:00.000-07:00

Love is blind... and so were these two people!

For 6 months, they take the same bus (office transport) to work. One of 30 such buses (maybe there were more). They don't notice each other.

For many months, they go to the same canteen (one of three such). At exactly the same time everyday. Just before noon, right when the canteen starts serving lunch (Both belong to the'always-hungry-and-waiting-for-lunchtime' category, so maybe thats not surprising.). At a time when the place is deserted. Only two tables are occupied - one by the girl and her group. Another by the guy and his group. This time guy notices girl. The girl is aware of some guys at the other table being regulars at this time, but thats about it.

Then the girl is deputed to the same project that the guy belongs to, albeit different modules. They are hence still blissfully unaware of each other's existence.

By this time. if God was trying to bring them together, His patience must have been wearing thin.

One fine day (actually, night. Night-outs were a frequent occurrence in that doomed project), they get talking. Girl doesn't remember the details of the encounter, but guy reminds her that when she was given some info about the guy she remarked 'Oh Madras' and 'Oh Besant Nagar'. This last is because girl is of the firm opinion Besant nagar is the coolest place in Chennai to live in. There are other strong contenders, but because of the beach (and eat-outs) BNagar wins hands down.

Some time later, when both are working late into the night they end up taking the same cab (office provided transport for after-hours).

More than a year later, the guy gives her a sleepless night, the first. Hold your horses. Nothing romantic there, not yet. She had applied for 2 weeks leave long back to go on her annual trip to Ahmedabad where her parents live. As always, project deadlines have been revised and her leave now coincides with an important milestone. But this time girl has decided to go ahead with her plans regardless. Guy asks her if she thinks she will still have her job when she gets back (!!!)

A few months later, the guy and girl are part of the same lunch group, then guy joins girl's juice group, and then finally her mail-chat buddies list.

And the rest as they say is history... chemistry... and a bit of mystery!

Mommy Guilt - Why NOT

2010-06-24T12:31:00.000-07:00

I surprised myself by my reaction to the mommy guilt question.

The reason, after some introspection - I don't want P to feel he is responsible.

As a child, I felt my mother had 'sacrificed' her career for us kids. I felt I was a burden. I had come very soon after my brother. Maybe I figured it was difficult to bring up two young children when the father was busy at work. When we behaved badly and my mother was told her kids had not been brought up well, I felt ashamed. Maybe I was sensitive even back then.

Having seen how the previous generation of women struggled to cope with expectations - their own and others'. A mother is made out to be this superwoman who does everything, without ever asking for help. Even if it means she has to be up all night, even if in the process she ends up without a life. The house must be spic and span, the children must be well-behaved, there must be plenty of good food on the table, and the lady of the house must be impeccably dressed. And for all of this, there is a single person responsible.

Then it was my turn to bring a little being into this world. And before I knew it, there it was, the guilt. All too familiar, only this time I was on the other side. And this time I could make a difference.

It is not easy to fight the guilt when its only about you. But when you think it might affect your child, it becomes so simple. Just like that.

On the ground, it has helped to take well thought-out decisions. To discuss everything with S, read up and research, think it through. To know that every step has been looked at from every possible angle. If it still doesn't turn out to be the right way, we know it wasn't for want of trying.

There are other factors that helped - S being the way he is, for one.

I was never a confident person, but for P's sake I learnt to be. I learnt to believe that I am doing what is best, that I know what is best for P.

And that was that was my second entry for the mommy guilt contest.

Mommy guilt or lack thereof

2010-06-23T03:34:00.000-07:00

I don't think I feel guilty about having done or not having done something as a mommy. (hold on, why do I feel guilty saying that?!)

The only thing I felt guilty about was when I wasn't yet a mum. P was in my tummy, and I had the most exhausting time at work. The project was to go-live, in scale it was the biggest to date in the UK, and there were showstopper issues in a module I was responsible for. Mentally it was the most stressful time for me ever, trying to get results out of a bunch of rookies. Physically, it was a nightmare, having to take calls at odd hours from my team distributed in the US, Singapore and India. I felt guilty, how would all the stress, loss of sleep and the not-being-able-to-take-care-of-myself affect my unborn child. I couldn't do much about the situation. The only choice I had was to give up my job. I still wonder sometimes if P not being the usual bindaas kid is something to do with all of this, but one will never know.

Ever since, if I have had reason to feel guilty, I have done something about it. Or tried to.

Fact is, noone can be perfect at everything at the same time - being a mother, wife, career-woman, daughter, daughter-in-law, friend, cooking, having a lovely home - its just not possible. But we're all doing our best. Some compromises have to be made. Which ones - that is upto each one of us.

Some take a break from work, some hire a cook, some have a babysitter, some have grandparents who help...

When I have to enforce discipline or rules, I don't feel bad about it, after all its for only P's good that I do.

I don't feel guilty about metime, not at all. If something makes me happy, indirectly it benefits P. A child can be happy only if his mother is!

I don't feel bad that S contributes equally, after all he is the father! And it is in his interest and P's, that he be involved.

I don't feel guilty about taking a break from work. I'm doing what seems right to me, in my situation. Neither do I think I'm taking the easy way out. Being a SAHM is not easy - cooking, managing home, and taking care of a child 24*7 all through the year is a full-time job. Whatever the babysitters charge is definitely well-earned! :)

For P's respiratory allergy, he has to take a tonic twice a day, chewie tablets thrice, homoeopathic medicines thrice, pepper twice and turmeric twice everyday in his milk. And thats on days when he is *NOT* sick. When I forget or am not able to give P one of these, I don't fret over it. I think of all the ones I *have* managed successfully.

I don't feel guilty about leaving him to his own devices - he must know to entertain himself and I love to see his imagination at work too :)

I don't think its wrong to make him eat whatever I've cooked, even if its not his favourite food. He better learn to eat everything, it will only be easier to survive later in life in a hostel or away from home.

I don't feel bad that he helps out at home - he *WANTS* to and treats it as fun. It keeps him busy and out of trouble. There is learning involved too - stacking dishes, sorting bhindi by size for me to chop - I think it is as good an activity as some of the toys we shell out money for. Even if it means things take longer for me to get done, I think its beneficial to him in the long run. Gone are the days when men could be helpless, today's boys better learn to fold their clothes, cook, clean up their own mess and fend for themselves. I don't know if I'm entirely joking when I say that P is more useful about the house than his dad is!

If I can't help something, I don't worry about it. If I can, I do whatever I can about it. Either way, there is no guilt!

What matters is that I'm trying to learn and get better all the time.

Any comments/suggestions from people, I listen to and introspect. Some I find useful and incorporate, others I don't.

I find it helps to surround yourself with positive influences, and with those who genuinely care about you.

A few weeks ago, I spanked P. I've always been very particular not to, I believe it doesn't help achieve anything. I also think I mustn't raise my hand at someone who is not a match physically. But there was this one time, I broke my own rule. After a marathon of packing, countless trips in the heat to shop for things to furnish our new home, managing plumbers/electricians, tending to a sick child, having guests over, followed by a day-long expedition... I reached breaking point. P was whining more than usual, and I just couldn't take it anymore. I thought about it for an instant, then decided to give it a try, and before I knew it I had given him a pat on the backside. It was just a very light pat, more symbolic than anything. But it had an effect. P seemed taken aback. When he had stopped whining, I asked him what the problem was. He said he was tired. I had been so caught up in my own situation that I had forgotten that it must have been exhausting for the poor mite too. After all he had had to accompany me everywhere (I have noone I can leave him with). But since the episode was over and couldn't be undone, I decided I must move on, and the next time I felt there might be a repeat, I would remind myself of this instance and try harder not to.

Last but not the least, I don't feel guilty about investing time in this blog! It is an outlet, especially when I'm stuck at home for days on end with a sick child. It keeps my brains from rusting. And it doesn't have a negative impact on anything other than my sleep!

I do plead guilty when it comes to S though, I know I need to be more patient. Yes, he goofs up, but it is because he is trying. The next time he forgets to use the coasters, or to put the lid back on the saucepan, I must remind myself to be less of a nag. S - if you're reading this (well, I'll have to make sure you do!), I know I don't say this enough, but you're an incredible father, *almost* as good as I am as a mom ;-) ;-)

For those of you still reading, if any, that was my entry for the mommy guilt contest.

First the Stork, then the Swans

2010-06-20T10:53:00.000-07:00

Our home in London was on Clippers Quay. In these waters were cormorants, swans, and of course ducks.

A pair of swans made their home there. Lady Swan seemed pregnant (so was I at the time). Mr. Swan set about making sure LS was comfortable, the nest was furnished with twigs, dried leaves et al.

I had this feeling that LS would have her babies on the same day that I had mine.

Then LS laid eggs. I invoked Google baba and from the duration stated it seemed highly likely baby swans would arrive on my Estimated Delivery Date.

Both S & I checked on the swan family on our way to work and back home everyday, were the eggs still there? Or had they hatched?

In my conversations with P-in-womb, I had always asked him to wait until the EDD. Then we got our home ready for P's arrival. Baby cot was assembled, so was the rocker, cot mobile was put in place, clothes neatly arranged, hospital bag packed. So on S' instructions, I told P that we had got the playthings ready for him and he could come anytime he felt ready. The contractions started a few hours after that. Two weeks before the EDD.

4 days later and after several NHS goof-ups, I had P in my arms. Later that day S informed me the baby swans had not arrived. I was disappointed.

Feeding P, I would gaze out of the many huge bay windows in our house.

10 days later EXACTLY ON MY EDD, the swan babies arrived.

I couldn't resist telling S 'I told you so'. We were over the moon.

Seeing the swan parents care for the 5 babies was heartwarming. While Swan lady rested, Mr. Swan would take one of the babies for a short ride on his back. Then he would take another baby. And so on.

Slowly the babies started venturing out a little, always under supervision. They grew fast, got bigger and stronger. Their abilities and confidence grew and they went farther and farther. One fine day, they left the nest. The swan parents remained, after a while they disappeared too.

Then one day, the swan family, complete with parents and 5 babies (now adults) visited.

Here are photographs taken on the day of the visit from one of the windows in our home (one of the 'babies' has gone far ahead so is not visible in the pic)

TWO Rainbows!

2010-06-19T11:39:00.000-07:00

Anyone remembers the movie 'Dil Maange More', Shahid Kapoor at his worst, in Sundernagar where not one... or two... but seven rainbows appear simultaneously!

Well today I saw two at the same time :)

You can be happy if you choose to be, like Pollyanna. Or as Julia Roberts said in Stepmom - you could sit around and mope or do something about it.

Some days it is more difficult than others. The maid goes on indefinite leave, P's temp remains steady at 103 inspite of being on the possible max dosage/frequency of meds, weekend plans go haywire

That was when I saw not one but TWO rainbows :)

The pic was taken from our balcony. The second rainbow is not visible in the photograph but if you look hard you can see it - it is parallel to the other one, and positioned at the centre of the frame. Any other day, P would've treated it as a big event, but today the poor dear was so listless he couldn't care less

The other two are old photographs taken from our home in London (in the background is the Millenium Dome). We could see the entire rainbow but it could not be taken in a single shot, hence there are two pics.

The best moments are those that are unplanned

2010-06-18T03:40:00.000-07:00

An impromptu shopping jaunt.
Turning a crisis into an opportunity -> Being stuck in traffic for hours, and so stopping for dinner en route. Ravenous kiddo is dealt with... and how! Purring like a cat that got kheer instead of the usual milk ;-)

Playing. Talking. Eating. And Laughing.

An adhoc decision to go on a mid-morning drive.
A random halt for P to jump on the trampoline.
And then another... to stop and gaze at the lake and feel the wind.

These are the memories I treasure the most.

A lovely weekend.

A Twist in the Tail

2010-06-17T01:16:00.000-07:00

One day after school around a year ago, P had insisted he had a tail.

I was amused, I asked what he meant, where was it. His response left me speechless for quite a while (I'll leave it at that). What was it if it wasn't a tail, he wanted to know.

Fast forward one year. P's second day at big school. He comes out in tears. A cute puppy comes towards him, wagging its tail. Thanks to cute puppy, the tears stopped.

That night, P expresses a desire to transform into a puppy. He checks perfunctorily if 'his tail' is alright. My expression gives him the answer, so he needs a tail to be attached to his backside. S, always eager to satisfy such requests, does the needful. With a thick brown tape rolled up, a tail is made. And affixed.

P tries to wag it. The first attempt, a wiggle of the backside, makes S burst out. So P tries again. This time the whole body shakes. Another try, only P's arms move.

P with the tail, with a twist at the end, looks less of a puppy and more an adorable Hanuman.

Shattering gender stereotypes

2010-06-15T10:57:00.000-07:00

Or so I thought.

S got home early today. Early is before 8, Bangalore standards.

S (wonder of wonders) wanted to do craft with P.

I thought wow. After the initial questions - 'Where are the scissors', Where's the paper - they got going.

And I got busy getting dinner ready, peace for once.

After a while, the silence made me curious. What were they making? They had a box, so maybe a house?

I went to check on the kids (yes plural!)

They had fixed cardboard doors on P's toy auto!

My immediate thought was - S badly needs to look at Shruti's blog for craft ideas.

I asked S 'why this choice?'

S squarely put the blame on P. P had flattened the cardboard box 'just like amma and appa had done with all the packing boxes after we moved into the new house'.

P had a gala time, appa had given him complete freedom with the scissors and glue, unlike amma who is a control freak.

Apparently S is feeling bad about having to send P to a school far away, and seeing his tears. Hence the love is overflowing in this fashion.

I asked where I should go to get this kind of attention.

S says considering my height and weight (he was treading on dangerous ground here, but I overlooked it since today he'd driven not 2.5 hours as he does everyday to office but 4 hours including the school trip), I would have to run the same distance for him to feel the same way about me!

P quote - 'Sarjapur road alli idhe. 7 kilometres. *HUNDRED* kg. *Thumba* jaasthi. *Rombe*. 100 kms'

2010-06-11T11:32:00.000-07:00

We had grand plans pre-parenthood. No toy mobiles, no baby laptop.

We've managed only no TV (barring the very occasional Animal Planet) and no guns.

P at 3 knows GMail, Blog and Facebook. Operates the IPod Touch, types on "board" (notepad) on the laptop, chats using IM (HI/BYE)...

When the landline rings, he picks up the corded instrument, listens in and adds his bit while I speak on the cordless.

He can click photographs using the mobile phone.

He navigates using the mouse.

Times have changed and so have we. For better or for worse - I don't know - let us see...

A morning in the life of a jobless creature

2010-06-11T11:31:00.000-07:00

P's school session commences a week later than most others'. His current self-entertainment measures (we recently moved into a sprawling but *very* quiet apartment complex, from an independent house bang in the middle of Jayanagar) :

Role play as 'security uncle' opening "gates" for us i.e. shoe rack, kitchen cabinets

"Packing" miscellanous articles into any available box and lugging it around feigning difficulty as 'rombe heavy-a irukku'

Calling miscellaneous imaginary workers (plumber, electrician) on an imaginary mobile in a guttural voice and asking in Kannada 'AAn Barthira? 10 minutes-a? AAn Okay'

Shouting out instructions to the real men unloading boxes from the balcony. On any given day, there is atleast one apartment being occupied. Instructions are in Kannada - 'Illi left hogi', 'Teamwork maadi'...

Fumigation. With the pump meant to inflate the balance ball, he sprays 'mosquito medicine'

Making a water tanker out of a tractor and a railway coach and simulating the bumpy ride on a piece of furniture with ridges. Muttering 'goda goda' for the sound effect

Bird-watching. P seems to think the pigeons are either English or Kannada speaking creatures and alternates between the two with his limited vocabulary - 'What are you doing?' and when one of them flies away all of a sudden 'Oi where are you?' The pigeons must be embarrassed with all this attention

This idiot survived a month without the idiot box

2010-06-10T10:33:00.000-07:00

Actually 3 idiots did - me, S, and P.

We have in the past too, for 7 months. We were in sunny California then, and it was just the two of us. So when we had time to spare we could go off for a walk in the mountains, or on one of the beaches, or play a game of Table Tennis, or chess, or Scrabble. Or Pacman (yes, we had internet! And we did watch a few movies online)

This time around we still have the box, an ancient one - none of those LCD or plasma whatever. But the box does not have cable. Mind you we are still in the discussion / healthy debate phase. I'd like to think I've won the battle though - after S yesterday said 'we'll buy some DVDs like Lion King for P to watch once in a while'. His argument had been (yeah yeah note the tense) that if P was totally deprived of TV, cartoons etc. he would behave like he did when he got to eat chips at a birthday party (read go berserk).

Anyway, who has the time for TV now. There is so much else to do. I'd rather spend the time with P, with S, on this blog, cooking, cleaning, catching up with loved ones (not necessarily in that order ;-) )

So right now I have this ultra-romantic view of life without telly - dancing to music with P (NOT S!!! he is *TERRIBLE*, so is P but atleast its cute), playing board games and solving puzzles (hee hee bought a couple for myself at the toystore. We are 3 kids not just 3 idiots!), trying our hand at craft, going for a walk or to the park... Any ideas however outlandish will be much appreciated :)

Astitva

2010-05-27T11:37:00.000-07:00

I've met quite a few people after our recent move. I found it interesting that one of the first questions asked is 'Do you work?'.

Thats after asking what one's name is, which very often has to be asked again later, coz the response is forgotten as quickly as the question is asked. I have this problem too, big-time, I ask but don't register the response. And much to my embarrassment, have to ask again within a few minutes!

But I digress. Why is it so important what someone's job is. Is it that which defines us. Or is that a barometer to tell us more about this stranger we have just met.

And this in a country where most of us work solely for a living, our job is in no way our passion.

I have nothing against the question, I now ask it myself, it is a starting point when you've just met a stranger. But I do feel a little sad *if* one is judged solely on that basis. Because there is so much else to a person, so many dimensions.

The other frequently asked question is where one is from. Again our prejudices come in. But with Punjabis marrying Rajasthanis, Maharashtrians marrying Tamilians, and so on, this is bound to change.

But when I heard a middle age lady's response to 'Where are you from' - she said in a lofty tone 'we are Caste XYZ', as if being of that particular caste made her special in some way - I realised that we are only moving forward with time.

Hopefully P's generation will ask 'What are your interests?' or 'What do you do in your free time?'.

Striking a balance

2010-05-06T04:41:00.000-07:00

Ever since I became a parent, I have been plagued by questions, doubt, even anxiety... am I doing whats right for P?

The answer seems to be 'everything in moderation'.

I switched on the TV last weekend after ages. P dropped everything he was doing and rushed to sit in front of the TV, eyes glued. Till he finally dozed off. That made me think...

As the GP and health visitors said when I asked what should be on the diet of a new mother. My family swore by 'pathiya sappadu', but the health professionals in the UK seemed to think even peas and potatoes were fine, provided everything was in moderation.

Should I push him, or just let him be and take things at his own pace?

Should I spend my time with him, playing, trying out art n craft activities? Or let him learn to entertain himself.

Should I let him run free, and learn from experience? Or let him know when there is danger ahead?

Am I over-parenting, or under-disciplining?

Should I let him have chocs n chips? Or should I not?

Experience (and P himself) have taught me the answer to all of these quesions - everything in moderation.

By not giving him chocs (I used to sneak out the chocs that he was given at school bdays, from his bag), or giving him half a chip, I only made him want them more. The answer was to let him have the occasional treat.

All my attempts at getting him to play on the slide when he was 2 were of no use really. Other kids his age are doing it, I thought. S tried telling me that the day he felt he could do it all by himself, he would enjoy it. And he was right!! P is now deliriously happy as he rushes for yet another go on the slide. He's been watching the other kids all these days, while he was sitting on the swing or the roundabout. So he knows exactly what to do, he was at it like a pro right from the first attempt. On hindsight, the correct approach was to let him know he could try it when he felt he was ready.

By engaging him all the time, I wasn't letting him learn to entertain himself, or to tap his own imagination. By leaving him to his own devices all the time, I would make him seek attention in all the wrong ways. Again, the answer was a judicious mix.

Thats probably what I should try to apply in my own life too, a healthy balance

The DD Days

2010-05-03T11:54:00.001-07:00

Is it just me? I find that I had plenty more television to watch in the good old days of a single channel, the DD days, than I do today with a 100 odd channels to choose from.

And when I do catch a movie I watch it with no volume at all, with subtitles - otherwise it seems like cacophony to my ears.

And when there is an ad break (commercials as they are now referred to) I flee from the scene. Long back I used to be glued to the screen during advertisements - I remember waiting for the 'Dabur ka naya laal dant manjan' one, the 'Nirma washing powder Duudh si safedi' one, or the 'Lataji' one.

The pace was relaxed and so were we. When the DD technicians screwed something up, which was very often, the 'fillers' would appear - the vertical bands in various colours or 'rukavat ke liye khed hai'. And I would watch even those! I would watch mesmerized as the DD logo unfolded out of the moon with a beautiful tune in the background. I watched 'Badhiron ke liye samachar'/News for the Hearing Impaired, the Regional movie on Sunday afternoons, the UGC telecasts, the craft/cookery/puppet shows as part of afternoon transmission. Everything.

There was innocence. As seen in 'Ek titli anek titliyaan'

Hope and faith and inspiration. 'Mile sur mere tumhara' (the original one) and Udaan had plenty.

We waited the whole week (no DVDs then!) for Ek do teen chaar, Dada daadi ki kahaniyaan, Giant Robot and Spiderman.

Movie related programming was restricted to the weekly dose of Showtheme and Chitrahaar.

Aisa bhi hota hai and Surabhi were a refreshing change from the norm.
Renuka Shahane's haircut was the rage, and one sent postcards to compete in the Surabhi contest, there was no phone call or SMS business!

Funny were Yeh jo hai zindagi, Aa bail mujhe maar, Ulta Pulta, Faster feney, Didi's comedy show, the serial on andha vishwaas starring Sulabha Deshpande, I forget the name.

Scary in those days was Vikram aur Betaal (yeah I found it quite scary!), Kile ka rahasya and Honee anhonee.

Neenv, Charas were about the greys in society.

The ones I found depressing although they were good - Nukkad, Buniyaad, Hum Log.

We had the likes of Shyam Benegal, Sai Paranjapye and Amol Palekar.

Siddharth Basu and UTV are examples of changing with the times! Remember Basu's Quiztime, Bhaskar Bhattacharya's Alpha Quiz, and Ronnie Screwvala with puppet Shuunya? Now Basu's churning out quiz/game shows of all kinds.

The transition began with Shanti, Swabhimaan. It was alright to telecast scheming, conniving and bitchy people, all in the pursuit of money. A sign that times were changing, and so were people and their tastes. Even Dekh Bhai Dekh and the cartoons like Tailspin were a change from the previous shows.

I would love to catch reruns of the old old serials if some channel telecasts them. I'm curious if the programmes were good, or is it just that we loved them because we had no choice?

What were your favourite serials and shows? I'm sure I've missed many, remind me please!

A Dream

2010-05-02T11:36:00.000-07:00

I've been asking P what he dreamt quite often, for the first time I got to hear a response that qualifies as a dream, at 3 years and a week exactly. Documenting it here for posterity ;-)

There was a big lotus, rombe (very) big. On a tree, a BIG tree. There was a single big leaf.

They climbed onto the tree.

I asked who did?

The uncles and aunties who lived in China country.

From the tree they jumped onto the wall, the Great Wall of China. Like Superman. The big looong wall.

Then they climbed onto the rock. Also Big. Ask me what the name of the rock is, he said.

So I did.

"Kaadha Rock". Its in London.

Then they climbed steps, came home and drank water. After that they went to sleep. End of dream.

This narration was post his afternoon nap. Just before his nap, he had been clambering up the compound wall (with my assistance of course) and jumping off it, with the girl next door looking on - basically showing off!

I hope that when he grows up, he thinks enough of me to share his dreams and aspirations with me. I hope that I am able to build that kind of a rapport and relationship with him, time will tell.

Whats right about being right-handed?

2010-04-26T11:33:00.000-07:00

Okay, show of hands (either one will do) - How many of you are left-handed?

Ever thought about it? - Everything is designed for a right-hander.

Door handles, latches and knobs. Locks. Flushes. Taps. Keyboards. Everything.

I was lucky I was provided a chair meant for left-handed people at school - remember those ones with the foldable pad/rest for writing on? Using the one designed for right-handers was an absolute nightmare, I would have had to twist and turn until I resembled a well squeezed towel.

My own little revolt is to wear my watch on my right hand. It started when I was a schoolgirl - why did I have to stop writing to check the time in the middle of an exam? When my friends could just write with their right hand and glance at the watch on the left?

One gets used to living in this right-handed world. But it would be fun to have the tables turned just for one day.

But being left-handed has its own advantages too.

Like when I'm feeding P his lunch, and there's a courierwallah at the door. I can sign (using my left hand) and continue feeding P without taking a break.

Left-handers are usually ambidextrous to an extent (to survive in this right-handed world, we need to be). So when I'm in a tearing hurry and manage to cut myself in the kitchen, it isn't as bad as it would have been otherwise.

My pet peeves as a lil girl...

The question 'Are you left-handed? It must be so difficult to write using your left hand'. Its as difficult as writing with the right hand is for a right-hander!

Worse was the request for a demonstration - 'can you show me how you write?' As if we're freaks on display.

Current pet peeve - Being told off for serving using my good (left) hand. And then the disapproving looks when I struggle to push the rice onto the plate with the serving spoon in my right hand.

Still... I wouldn't change anything. Its nice to be different. Like Maggi Tomato Chilli sauce.

P turns 3

2010-04-23T11:26:00.000-07:00

I find it amazing how over these 3 years (and more if you count the 9 months that he spent inside me - I did know him even then ! ) he has grown so much but has retained his core personality.

He still is pea-sized, but I mean... from that cute thumb-sucking bald Henry-like (remember that comic strip?!) foetus in the scan, to a teeny weeny newborn couldn't take his big black eyes off me while I was getting stitched up, to a cooing gurgling lil baby... learning to roll over, to sit up, crawl, stand, walk, talk and run around

But essentially the core P has remained a constant throughout.

Playful. I know all kids are, but P is like those cute puppies, bounding about. Full of enthu, energy, life. He insisted on being entertained non-stop as a baby, we had to make music with glasses, march around the house and salute His Highness, do a puppet show... Now that he is mobile and can communicate, he entertains us non-stop !

Perseverant. The first time he rolled over, he kept us awake the whole night - rolling over and over again (sometimes trying to but not succeeding and hence wailing) even when he was asleep. I remember counting upto 39 and then giving up. He's still the same, perseverant, but all the while frustrated. Shouts of 'Varle' and 'Thaanae pannanum' are heard pretty often

When we got him a toy piano, baby P would crawl into the 'den' between the two sofas and practice whenever he was alone. Yesterday S found him muttering to himself - he was practising a conversation with a lady who has been very vocal in her judgement of him as shy.

He was terrified every time we stepped out of the house, his eyes would dilate and he would remain in a state of shock until we got back and he saw the front door again. He soon figured out a way to avoid these social encounters - by nodding off to sleep or pretending to ! No matter when I took him out, whether it was right after a nap, or post-feed or whatever he would keep his eyes tightly shut only opening them when he heard the key turn.
Now, he doesn't want to get back home ever - so thats a change - but he still doesn't feel comfortable instantly in loud gatherings or big crowds.

He was a baby who knew his taste in food, he would slurp up strawberry yoghurt but apricot yoghurt was rejected outright. Still is the same. Bhindi has to be made fresh, the day it is bought. Everything has to be just right. Chocs that aren't very good are referred to as biscuits!!

When he began walking, he used to turn around and ogle at women dressed for London's summer (!!). Even now, he remembers only what the lady guests wore, and that too months after their visit!

Looking back...

We always felt he loved music, the way his face lit up when certain songs were played. Even when he was in my tummy, he loved kicking about in sync with music. Now, we often find him tapping his feet or fingers and listening in rapt attention.

We felt he was very expressive, that he was trying to tell us something, and we felt we understood what it was that he was trying to say. When we play back the old videos, we now know we were right! There were no words then, but he was communicating with us. Now that he does speak, its so obvious when we watch those videos of him using all the sounds and expressions in his 'vocabulary' to convey something to us. I remember trying to figure out the rhyme that he wanted me to sing to him out of the 30 odd ones that he was familiar with!

People ask who he resembles - the answer is neither, or maybe both of us. But as S says, he resembles noone but himself, he looks unmistakably like the P in the baby photos

Labels

2010-04-15T06:11:00.000-07:00

I'm tired of having to explain to people. Why do I have to be apologetic to people and expecially those whose kids revel in beating each other ? Why is unruly, ill-mannered, and even violent behavior more acceptable than being 'shy'?

Its either that or having to say 'Yes P is shy'.

I'm going to write this piece instead and maybe provide a link the next time !!

Yes, he is more dignified in public than the average kid his age. That doesn't mean he isn't naughty at home. Believe me he is a handful.

He is sensitive yes. And perceptive, very much so. So much that he in a few minutes he knows what the other person thinks of him.

With other children, he is very friendly, playful, even affectionate.

With adults who are fond of him - like close family or long-time friends - he is all over them after the ice is broken, holding hands, 'helping' them, chattering away...

With those who label him 'shy', he is very withdrawn.

I cannot explain this when he is around... because he understands. He thinks I'm saying something negative about him... and gets upset. He wouldn't cry... because doing so in public would let me down. So he fights the tears and holds them back successfully... which makes it even worse. Adults are fine with a bawling kid but not one who has the maturity and capability to exercise restraint. I am given the information 'he is going to cry any minute' - which makes it all the more difficult for him - he sees it as loss of face. For himself. And for me too I think. I think so... because he always asks 'Happy-a irukkiya?' the moment something upsets me.

Every inch of lil P screams out 'Don't judge me. I can be your friend. Give me a chance.' But you have to really listen to hear.

Moves - one of many and hopefully the last

2010-04-10T05:50:00.000-07:00

Gearing up for the move to our new home next month. Mixed feelings.

I will miss some things for sure.

The familiar surroundings.

My 'vaadaikkai' vegetable vendors with whom I can maintain a credit if I haven't brought my purse along or don't have enough change. And who call out and wait if they have something nice/fresh they know I will want.

The market nearby with vandis lined on either side of the street, neatly stacked with brightly colored fruits and vegs. The lovely smells wafting from the flower shops as one walks past them.

Having access to literally everything within walking distance - parks, temples, shops, markets and now even 3 malls.

The long-time Bangalorean neighbours who provide inputs on the best places to shop, eat...

The boys who regale me with the event of the day every time I run into them. Some of them fantastic ones like the 10-year old's story about the ghost in an abandoned house or the 7-year old's update that he could drive the car to the supermarket.

The trees. And flowers. And birds.

The nadaswaram men who are here on festival days. With the dressed-up-cow in tow.

The music class that is on for an hour every evening and which I love listening in on while I'm at work in the kitchen. There is something that a group of children learning to sing bhajans has, that even a flawless professional performance doesn't.

The sounds that I subconsciously always have an ear for, that tell me all is well with the world - the milkman speeding away on his moped, that of the BBMP lady sweeping the street at precisely the same time every morning, the watchman tapping his lathi on his beat at 2 am

This is the place where I came into my own

I will take all the memories with me - P's fascination for bikes and crows when we first arrived in India, the obsession continuing for a while till the novelty wore off. P's antics climbing up windows and over furniture. P waiting for purrs and watching 'KittyKat'. The time we filled our tummies with Sakkara Pongal and fed the kaakkas and kuruvies then spent the next few hours holed up waiting for the eclipse to get over while we played eclipse-with-balls..

There are things P will miss too-

His perch on the couch next to the window from which he has a bird's eye of the goings-on on the street below. Like an auto being 'repaired', a road roller laying out tar, cows, BBMP lady cleaning out garbage, the icecream cart with its bell ringing every afternoon in summer, and on occasion even camels walking past.

The sounds he recognises - the police jeep passing by slowly on patrol, the beeps of various neighbours' cars being remote lock/unlocked, the neighbour's Kinetic being kick-started

His friends. And the silly games they play.

The mountain (washing stone) that the "bear" climbs to see whats on the other side.

The exercise to get the innermost car out of the gate that requires the ones parked behind it to be reversed first. It has been a source of entertainment for a long time.

O well. There are things to look forward to - Neighbours who have adopted the city just like I have. New friends. Better facilities. Lovely ambience. A house we have waited long for and taken great pains to make a home. I'm sure we will fall in love with it in no time :) And after all I'm not a novice at moving !

The Other 3 Rs - Reduce Reuse Recycle

2010-03-20T11:13:00.000-07:00

It is as important to introduce environment issues and conserving natural resources as it is to teach children the original 3 Rs, I think.

But how do we go about doing it? I found more than one way -

By setting an example yourself.
Hubby with his ongoing research on alternate energy (solar and biofuel) is quite an inspiration. And his bigtime obsession with mileage, we intend to go in for an electric car - either the i10 electric model or the reva 4-seater. Then there's me with my quirks - carrying around waste paper/plastic for ages until I find a recycle bin, sometimes reaching home before I do!

Kids love to observe and imitate, and there is plenty of opportunity in everyday life to send the message across.
Reusing 'waste' from the water purifier, using recycled water in the toilets, Walk/cycle instead of driving, use the stairs not the lift, and the simplest - turning off taps, lights, fans, TV when not in use. Not wasting food... the list is endless.

In a developing country like ours, caring for nature is built into the system. Be it the raddiwallah who collects old newspapers from home to sell it to the peanut or bhel-wallah. Or my grandmother sending us kids off with the morning's kitchen waste - cucumber peel and the like - to feed the goats that waited at the door same time everyday. Feeding the crows - supposedly our ancestors - with leftover rice. Or passing on clothes and footwear that no longer fit to the less privileged.

Making it a part of the child's activities and play
We only let P draw on what my grandmother referred to as one-side-paper (printouts with one side blank that S brings home). Once he is done filling it up with his creations, we put it away, and when its craft time, out comes the same paper !
Then there's gardening - planting and looking after trees and plants

There are times when P himself initiates the discussion with his endless questions. Like the time we were walking home from school one unusually hot afternoon and he could feel the difference when walking under the shade of an old tree. Or when he wanted to know how we got water in our taps.

Since he is almost three and not so easily scared anymore, its also time to tell him how nature unleashes its fury on us with floods, droughts and tsunamis, if we don't take proper care of her. We've just finished with 'The Magic SchoolBus Blows its Top: A Book about Volcanoes', so we know all about magma, lava and how an island is formed !

I've found in my experience as a mum that preachy methods don't work, imaginative ones do. So I've been trying to tell him stories - self-created ones.
Which is why, I've been scouting around for books on these topics, ever since we finished with the one on volcanoes. Judging from the preview of 'Water Stories from Around the World', Tulika seems to have done precisely this. Can't wait to get my hands on it. I'm sure P will love it too.

Roots

2010-03-18T05:50:00.001-07:00

Nothing to do with the Alex Haley Pulitzer winning novel (I actually preferred his Queen, maybe because I read it first).

I've always struggled when people ask me where I'm from. As a little girl I used to say Srirangam, because that's where I was born, and went to visit my grandparents every summer vacation. Calcutta, Ludhiana and Chandigarh didn't count as I was too young, I wasn't even going to school then. I was a Tamilian, so should I name someplace in Tamilnadu? But I had only lived two years each in Madurai and Mettupalayam. So then I tried naming the place where I had spent the most time in. Even that didn't work after a while, because by then I'd lived for five years each in Bombay, in a place called Gokak Falls in North Karnataka and in Madras where I was in a hostel. Tirupur and Ahmedabad woudn't work either, because I only visited my parents there during college breaks. It would be terribly cliched to say I belonged to India, ugh.

When I started working, it was easy to tell people I was a Tamilian who worked in Bangalore. But again I couldn't tell a Bangalorean that, because the inevitable question would be where I did my schooling.

When I travelled abroad, it was simple, all I had to say was I'm from India, the southern part, Bangalore. That's it. And sometimes people would say 'Oh I've been to India, I served in the Navy and was at Vizag'. Or 'I've been to the Taj Mahal, and Jaipur, it was beautiful' (pronounced Juupu, so it took me a quite a while to get it!). Or the techie types who would say they would like to visit Bangalore, maybe an official trip sometime soon, and I would invite them over.

And so after years of dreading the question, I've finally come to terms with it, and don't feel silly when I say, 'Different places actually. I've moved around quite a bit, my dad used to switch jobs pretty often. So I've been to six schools, and lived in even more places.' And people aren't all that surprised anymore either, what with all the moving that everyone seems to be doing those days!

Whats in a (Sub)title?

2010-03-18T05:39:00.000-07:00

This post was triggered by Tulika's blogathon topic ---
How different are the written and spoken forms of your first language? If you want children to become familiar with their first language, which form would you look for in children's books - colloquial or formal? Why?

Growing up, I lived in various places outside my homestate Tamilnadu. We spoke Tamil at home and I even learnt to write the alphabet. I used to be quite indignant when my grandparents said I didn't know the language. Then we moved down south to Madurai. When I first heard the local news bulletin, it created total confusion 'Wow! Is that Tamil?' I couldn't understand a word of what they were saying. Then came the weather bulletin, Where was Kovai... and Udhagamandalam ? (Coimbatore and Ooty are referred to this way). I had Tamil as third language at school for a year, during which I learnt to spell words with 2-3 syllables. After that we moved again, this time to Karnataka, so the process of learning Kannada began, this time for 5 years. A good thing that, I still remember what I learnt, and living in Bangalore am able to put it to great use - posing as a localite helps when haggling with shopkeepers !

Then we moved to Tamilnadu again, this time to Mettupalayam. I was in my 10th std and none of my classmates spoke any English. My Tamil wasn't upto the mark, what was worse it was Brahmin Tamil. Didn't have Tamil as a subject otherwise I would have flunked for sure. But listening to those who had opted for it as 2nd language discuss the translation bit from their exam papers, I was lost - paerundhu (bus), and the speeches at functions always began with references to aasariyar and petrorgal - I used to go 'Who???' Teachers and parents I was told. I was exposed to Tirukkurals in these speeches and debates though I didn't understand one bit. My classmates translated Tamil film songs for me - Nila was moon and Thendral was breeze, Mozhi was language. Four years of college at Guindy Engg college, Chennai helped me with speaking colloquial Tamil (athough the nickname Elizabeth stuck), something my brother who was at BIT Pilani didn't have an opportunity to do.

Then I met my husband at work. He was Tamil too, but we had always spoken in English, workplace culture and all that. After we had decided to get married, one of his friends was surprised by that, that we continued to converse in English. We had found the switch awkward so had given up on it, but this remark made us sit up, take notice and try Tamil - a switch we did make this time. We do keep going back and forth in Tamil and English even today, but Tamil is the predominantly spoken language at home. I can speak quite well now, I am proud to say. For someone who lived primarily outside Tamilnadu during her childhood, thats quite an achievement.

The written language... that's another story. I can manage boards outside shops, and buses. But that's about it. My father-in-law is understandably disappointed. He is an author and journalist in Tamil, recipient of the Rajiv Gandhi award for his work in the field of Sci & Tech last year, and awarded by the central Govt. Dept of Sci and Tech. this year, by Prof. Yash Pal himself. And I can't read anything he writes.

I am currently reading a book my great-grandfather wrote a century ago. A book tracing the history of the shrine at Tirupati, based on inscriptions at various temples, references in classical literature, puranas. An eminent historian in his time, he had been asked to carry out this research by TTD, apparently there was dispute about the deity - Vishnu/Shiva. The book is in English, but there are quotations from classical literature, none of which I can appreciate.

Then there is the serial by Cho Ramaswamy, Enge Brahmanan, I love watching it. Every time I do, I wish I had learnt Tamil... and Sanskrit. Well... atleast, I can appreciate Hindi poetry.

Even when P was in my tummy, S & I started seriously debating what languages he should learn. Having see my nephew learn Tamil at the California Tamil Academy (he was taught Thaeneer was tea, Draatchaipazham was grapes and so on), I wasn't sure he needed to do that. We did agree that we would speak to P in Tamil although I drew the line at words like paravai, aandhai, and muyal being used in day-to-day conversation. We woke up to the fact that he didn't speak *any* English, a month before he was to join pre-school. So we began using words like sit, stand, eat, play and cry. A few months later, he began speaking full sentences with words like 'connection', 'behaviour' ! He has picked up a bit of Kannada and Hindi too, and we are consciously trying to speak to him in all of these languages. Then began the struggle for big school admissions. Hubby and I found ourselves debating again - this time on the 2nd language at school and which other languages were to be learnt and how. Settled quite amicably - between us we could teach him English, Tamil, Hindi and Kannada. That took care of universal language, mother tongue, national language, local language. We still needed to find a way out for Sanskrit and another global language (at this point the thinking is that French and German are becoming irrelevant and given China's growing power it might be Mandarin!).

This is where books like those from Tulika will help, making learning languages fun for both child and parent. Seamlessly blending into play, it will not seem like a chore or an extension of schoolwork.

I do hope P does not have unfinished agenda like I do, and that he is able to appreciate Tamil Tirukkurals, Sanskrit shlokas and Urdu couplets with equal ease.